I have to say this again every few months, I don’t want to call anyone out as I know they mean no...

I have to say this again every few months, I don’t want to call anyone out as I know they mean no harm.

I can’t help with your homework/these/final/school paper. I’m so sorry.

It’s always a ‘short questionnaire’ or a ‘few questions,’ but that takes me hours to answer properly, hours when I could be writing, they get seen by almost no one, and it is (I’m sorry) A LOT to ask of someone who writes for a living. I know it is not meant to be presumptuous so please don’t feel I am offended. I’m not, I know it’s always asked in perfect innocence.

But the reason I spend so much time answering questions HERE is that 80 K people can see them. Taking half a day to thoughtfully answer the same questions over and over again for two people to see is a very bad use of my limited time resources that leaves out all the other people who might want to know the answers to those questions. 

Most troubling is, it is exceedingly rare that any of the questions are new. So I have answered them here, possibly many times. To ask a writer to repeat an answer they’ve answered often just shows you are not willing to take the time to look to see if those questions have been answered previously. But you ARE willing to ask us to take OUR time to answer them again. 

I know this sounds harsh, but I spend more time answering questions of craft and history and opinion for readers than pretty much any comics writer I know. I try to be available to an absurd degree, really. And I am happy to do that, it is no bother. But asking for me to do that EXCLUSIVELY FOR YOU and the three people reading your paper, is a lot to ask.

Most importantly, I can’t possibly do it. I get up to five or six such requests a day. Almost every day. I have had as many as fifty such requests in a week (I counted). That would take far more time than a full working week and only a tiny fraction of the people reading this paragraph right now would ever see any of it. It’s just not possible to do them all, so I have to be firm on this one thing and do none.

I’m very sorry. The odds REALLY ARE that I have answered the questions you are asking many times. 

The one thing I can and will do for you in this regard is this–IF you take a look and can’t find the answer to the question you need, ASK ME HERE. I can’t answer all the questions I am asked. But I can answer a lot of them, and it’s much more sensible for me to answer your question where a lot of people can see the answer, if they are so inclined. Ask your question here and I’ll do my best to answer it right here on Tumblr in public. You have my blankert permission to use any such answer I give in your paper or thesis or whatever.

Fair enough?

I’m sorry to be firm about this, I do feel bad and would love to be able to help everyone, but it is simply not possible no matter what I do, so this is a good compromise. 

Best wishes and thank you for understanding!