Notes on Process
1. Positioned face down on bed with head and arms off edge of bed holding a new book on carpet below with hands around both edges so the book can’t close shut
2. Words do not initially enjoy the sensation of being read
3. The spine has not yet been broken into like an apple
4. The election of Rahm Emmanuel whose last name means GOD WITH US
5. עִמָּנוּאֵל
6. A Christmas play I did in church fifteen years ago when still in California
7. A boy from the play is still a friend of mine
8. He moved to Chicago
9. We do not see each other often
10. I will place my thoughts on hold during the following: dreamless sleep, routine, familiar television, feeding, submission, apathy, liturgy, laughter, lust, inebriation, possession, murder, pain, shame
11. Some dreams are terrifying until they aren’t
12. In her poem ROAST BEEF Gertrude Stein pulls from her experience of looking at/eating roast beef in order to make roast beef that can never be looked at or eaten
13. She isn’t a farmer. She isn’t a butcher
14. Insufficient punctuation is aesthetic and also lingering control issues stemming from being a person
15. “Do I wish myself in the deepest unconscious or subconscious layers of my being to be the founder of a new religion?”
16. Again sun dirty mouth in the morning sleep headed socks to the eating of breakfast the calming of an ill disciplined stomach again a shower brushing sweating imperceptible both working and fretting chores cleaning of the daily space delusions of grandeur conversationally off and on stooping towards the ground farting when alone ticthe clock moving earnestly some idle goal somewhere just beyond a reaching towards bed
17. Most of the content in literary journals is well written in away that screams ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I AM WELL WRITTEN
18. When there was a God there was a God
19. “I’m in the corner watching you kiss her ohhhhhhhh! I’m right over here why can’t you see me ohhhhhhhh!”
20. The pleasant clack of jewel cases while filtering through them while riding shotgun in a car surrounded by friends is what divides the old guard of Millennials from the new
21. Microsoft Word does not recognize the word Millennial yet
22. You are a tender button I keep on my tongue to keep it quiet when all it wants is to be loud
23. In the book A MOVEABLE FEAST the chapter EVAN SHIPMAN AT THE LILAS is the best and I would fight Hemingway himself if he disagreed and you know that bastard would love that shit because he is prolifically gendered
24. There is a copy of McSweeneys that has been on my coffee table for years and I have only read 23 pages of it
25. A person can never truly escape from their mother
26. For someone who thinks empathy is the most important human quality I write the I in nearly every work I write
27. He has moved back to California
28. In successful poems the YOU should enjoy being trapped
29. One of my warmest memories is when I was told by the girl that agreed to go to prom with me that she did not want to go anymore because she realized I actually like liked her and she did not like like me like that and we had this conversation in a very large Tower Records where we sat in the travel book section and she was wearing a green sweater and cried but not until after I said I was okay because this is a run of the mill American memory and it makes me feel connected to being an American
30. Understand the opposite of the thing to understand the thing itself
31. X has noticed Y in the park eating a sandwich far too big Y X has noticed Y is out of toilet paper X has noticed Y has a bloody forearm indicating self harm X has noticed Y has a degree from a lesser university X has noticed Y has no food for the cat X has noticed Y is not speaking in proper English
32. I think nostalgia is ruining my objectivity but I think I am wrong
33. The wife myth is central to the identity of the Christian male
34. If you are looking for a word for your work you are probably not fully engaged in this but also I totally get it and you should try YOLKY
35. A normal reaction to very nice breasts is whatever you or I want it to be unless of course it is not
36. Attack that Borges collection
37. The small succulent I used to keep on one of our speakers died a long time ago and I can not remember what it looked like but I know it existed because I wrote about it once
38. “The small succulent we keep on the speaker is almost entirely dead. God Leonard Cohen is good writing music!”
39. Fucking anthologists
40. It is hard to accept that no one cares about my childhood
41. “I wish I had a sun tan I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine”
42. If I were to tie my thoughts together would they make a little chain or could I even build anything with them or the smallest thing I could build would be a dust holder or something to put your dust in or something little for dust
43. There is no God and I am not a famous person
44. Show don’t tell
45. Do good towards every insignificant thing always until you are dead
46. “Better get the trick of throwing the whole back into the melting pot and recasting all in one piece. It is better than patching.”
47. Salt beds are a thing you do not forget seeing for the first time because they are geologically impressive and we are powerless
48. “That man was a devil in a past life don’t be like that man”
49. The song Ashley by Yo La Tengo is the song Green Arrow by Yo La Tengo
50. When you see God you will believe you have gone insane and I will be there holding you forever on my tongue
