Burning Down the House

I attempted to burn down the house tonight.  No big deal.  Just a little addled by the migraine meds and determined to address some of the house chaos by finishing the Crayola art.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, you know?  Michaels, sale, canvas, crayons.  That goddamn Pinterest.  I think Facebook is the devil, but Pinterest is looking like the Devil’s pretty daughter.  All those people doing crafty things, taking well-lit pictures of their pretty creations.  Whimsical crayon art with inspiring messages.  All that bloody whimsy.  And the hair tutorials.  Don’t get me started, because I’ll descend into hair tutorials never to return.

Anyway, here I am on a federal holiday, nursing a migraine and looking at the chaos and thinking I’ll do something simple to finish up the day.  I’ll get my whimsical crayon art completed and then I can hang it in the bathroom which is now officially 99% painted.  The one I started a couple of weeks ago needed a little more melting on the edges, so I had a bright idea.  I’ll put it in the broiler!

People, do not put the crayon art in the oven, or at the very least, don’t put it under the broiler.  It caught on fire, the dog very sensibly tried to evacuate the premises, and now the house no longer carries the whiff of previous owner because it smells like toxic crayon fire instead.

I think I’m going to go to bed now.