I Could Have Been Crushed

“There’s always something to do.  A man with brains is never trapped.” –END AS A MAN by Calder Willingham
October 10, 1989
It was nice being at my new condo in West Hollywood.   Mom was there to help me decorate a bit. 

I loved these Black and White prints that I posted up in my living room.   There were 'three of them'.  One was like a 'From Here to Eternity' scene with a couple making out on the shoreline of a beach.   
The other was what I imagined as an image of me, lying on the couch, taking a nap in only a pair of NIKE socks.  The other was an image of a young, sexy girl in search of Mr. Right and dwelling on 'him' while in bed.   I liked the images of the guy on the couch and the girl in bed...it was as if they depicted the best of both worlds.
Soon I’d be going back to Northern California until my return later this month.  I think Dale Orlando and Laverne Butler-Brewer will be accompanying me in a rented U-HAUL truck to move here officially with more of my furniture.   Dale will stay for the Halloween festivities, so that should be a ‘hoot’.  October 14, 1989 I woke up early for my gloomy, cloudy and brisk bike ride.   When I returned mom was still in bed and I took a cute Polaroid of her just as she opened her eyes this morning.  Classic!
I still remember Sue Miller from my World History class with our teacher, Mr. Billings (who wrote in my yearbook ‘To a gentleman and a scholar’).   Sue Miller electrified me in 9thgrade.  We became fast friends (along with Bonni Jayne).  We became quite ‘the trio’.   And now, on October 12, 1989 it was Sue’s 30th Birthday.   There was a small party for her over the weekend (specifically on October 14, 1989) and I was there to take a few Polaroid shots of her.  It is miraculous how time flies.  Are we old now? 

Dorothy Rua wrote again and sent me a copy of her resignation letter from Pac Bell Directory, SMART Resource Center, dated July 26, 1989.  I applauded her courage to leave.  I know I couldn’t stay there any longer and that is why I retreated to my old job.  It was a wise move as now ‘here I am’ moving-on to Los Angeles via a lateral job transfer.Dorothy Rua also sent a more personal card to me dated October 15, 1989:
Dear Michael, Sitting here at the Coffee Cantata Union Street on this cool, but sunny, Sunday seems an appropriate time to respond to your most recent card.  I couldn’t say much when you called because I was surrounded at the time and three sets of eyebrows would have risen simultaneously if I had!I enjoyed the color, general idea, and most definitely the beach scene!  It made me long for days (wonderful day) gone by…As I mentioned on the phone this expression on the guys’ face roused my curiosity.  It seemed to say, “I’ve been HERE before and I had hoped for more this time.   I don’t need her to touch my soul, but I want to be touched more than just physically.”   The girl is not overly concerned but she knows what he’s thinking.   Do I make more out of those cards than I should?  No, I don’t think so!Earlier today I was at the art gallery on Page St.—different works of S.F. artists were on exhibit.   Quite a variety!   I enjoyed the art, but even more I enjoyed being among the crowd of diverse individuals—also known as CITY PEOPLE!  You know, Michael, sometimes I think I’d go stark raving mad if I didn’t have San Francisco to recharge my battery!  Some days I feel as if I woke up to find myself growing in one of those pods (i.e. The Body Snatchers)!Anyway, Union Street has several interesting print and photo shops.  I saw several framed pictures today that I can definitely imagine are hanging on your walls.  I’d be surprised if they weren’t!   Don’t ruin my image of you and tell me you have painted fruit and flowers on your walls!
I also saw a neat picture/poster of the old Cliff House which included the Sutro Gardens home way up on the cliffs.  I just may get it next time! 

I tried to call Tonee several times today but her phone was busy each time.  If I get a hold of her I’ll ask if she’ll write that letter for you.  I truly hope you get the transfer or promotion you want.  You certainly deserve it after all the effort they’re making you put out!   To be on the safe side, I mailed you the letter you asked for and a copy of the one I sent to John R. Gaulding (PBD President) in July.  Let me know if my comments help.You must be looking forward to your next trip down to “West Hollywood’ this weekend.   Try to fit in some fun while you’re there!As always, looking forward to your next card!  
Love, DorothyPS-Don’t forget to check your mail when you get to “Villa 69”.
Paloma sent me a few classic cards again.  She knew I was doing some painting on canvas on-the-side.   She will always be my muse and inspiration.  She wrote:
October 16, 1989
Dear Michael,Here is a new model for another painting.  I was going to send you this card to celebrate our anniversary (6 years ago we met on Halloween) but you talked about it before I did!   Can you believe we were ‘24’ then?   That seems pretty young now.  That’s scary how fast you get old!  I tried to find a card with a baby on it but I didn’t find one I really liked.   I’m writing your old address since you’re not arriving yet.   I hope I’m doing it right.   Jonathan is now adjusting to school.  He doesn’t cry anymore but I’m not really sure he is crazy about going there (did you like school, yuck!).  
How old is Ashley now?   I remember when Sherri was pregnant.  Is she still working?   What about your brother?  What is he doing?  How many kids do they want?   I should have another one if I don’t want a big age difference between them but I’m not ready AT ALL.   I hated being pregnant.   Do you have a favorite niece?   I hope your bother gets a boy this time! 
What happened with your apartment in Alameda?  Are you renting it or did you sell it?   What is your new place in L.A. like?  I’m sending you a picture of our new car, so you see what it looks like.   Do you?  I don’t remember...
October 17, 1989 I decided to take the express bus to work in San Francisco today.  It’s too convenient.  I simply walk a block and I can “snooze” and not have to deal with the crazy traffic conditions.   My work day was the usual.   It was busy and I adore my lunch time and break time with Carla Guzman.   She says she’s going to miss me and that she will visit me in Los Angeles.
Sometimes an occurrence comes in life and it’s a true wake-up call.   I was relieved from my duties at 4 o’clock and I walked to the San Francisco bus terminal.   My express bus arrived at the normal time and I simply sat at a window seat and shut my eyes, erasing the day.  I was looking forward to arriving home to change clothes and go for a bike ride along Shoreline Drive.   I had hoped I’d run into “Birda” on her bike.  Her smile makes life worth living.   I thrive on the happiness of others.  It rubs off.
As my eyes were resting the bus went over the Park Street Bridge at precisely 5:04PM and the bus seemed to swerve as if it was trying to avoid a fatal accident.   Wow!   That certainly woke me up.  I didn’t know what had happened.   Everyone on the bus seemed to gasp for a split-second as well.   I walked from my usual bus stop and would later learn that ‘I COULD HAVE BEEN CRUSHED’.   
There was a 6.9 magnitude earthquake:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1989_Loma_Prieta_earthquake I had just gone under that overpass structure only five minutes before the swerve that I had felt on the express bus!   Boy, I was lucky?   It wasn’t my turn YET.   Thank God.  How frightening when one realizes that your life could be over in an instant.  I am so glad I’m still here.
Paloma wrote: October 18, 1989This morning I heard about the EARTHQUAKE.  I hope nothing happened to you and your family.  I’m really worried.  I’ve been trying all day to find your mom’s phone number but there is no way.  I called International Information but they have no idea.
On Paloma's BIKE postcard she wrote:
We have very good wines around here, too.   Two of our friends make wine (they have vineyards).  It’s really weird because the night before the jeans you sent arrived I had a nightmare about them!  Maybe it’s what we call in French:  LE SIXIEME SENS.   The only problem is that I don’t know the translation.   Alexandre is in PARIS right now.  He is coming back tonight with our new car.   It’s a ‘309 PEUGEOUT’.  I don’t think you have that kind of card in the States.  I don’t know.   I’m pretty happy about that but I’m also pretty broke.   We won’t go to the States this winter!   I keep trying to write you but every time I start someone comes and bothers me...
On Paloma's Grotte De Clamouse ‘La Nature faite Oeuvre d’Art, Montpellier’ postcard she wrote:
I’m sending you a commercial for THIERRY MUGLER I found pretty nice.  Maybe that can give you some inspiration for your painting.   Two stamps were on one of your letters this way you can write me another one!   This card is a picture of a place where we’ve been last Wednesday with Jonathan that’s really great.   It looks like rock fireworks.  I loved it.   Well, I hope you are OK and that pretty soon I will get a long letter (that’s not a short message!).Miss You, Love you, PALOMA
I also received another postcard from Dorothy.   When I saw the date of October 17, 1989 on the card I realized that if I had been ‘at the wrong place at the wrong time’ I never would have read her card. 
10-17-89Michael—Just because your bathroom floor is being re-tiled doesn’t mean you have to take care of your hygiene needs on your balcony.  Just when you thought you had some privacy someone had to sneak-up with a camera!   I won’t tell you how much I had to pay her.   The truth is the “MODEL” didn’t mind driving from Merced, knowing how much she’d enjoy her special assignment.I hope you’re getting all those little chores done while you’re down there.  You’re probably just glad to be in your new home!   Have you already placed all your furniture mentally?Don’t forget all work and no play makes for a boring guy!   Make sure you have time for that club near your place!   Maybe you’ll get lucky and meet a star!Have Fun!   Love, Dorothy
…and another letter from Paloma that I was happy to be ALIVE to receive:
October 1989When an EARTHQUAKE happens somewhere you think it’s really sad and stuff…but let me tell you that when it happens in a place that you know pretty well and where people you LOVE live…that’s really different (I guess when YOU ARE in the place that’s different too!).
If you live in L.A. no more breakfasts at your mom’s house… 
Did I ever tell you about my friend, Brad?   He used to live in SF but he moved to L.A. right after I left the States.  I think I told you about him before.   He is gay; he never told me but he was a male prostitute (other “nice” people told me).   The last time I heard from him was last Winter.  He called me.  He likes it better in L.A.   He is still there.   
You’ll be as far from you family as I am from mine (about 800 kilometers).   That’s an OK distance except for babysitting.   I almost never got that kind of help.  
It seems like girls are way prettier in L.A. too.  It’s like we say in FRANCE you might find a shoe to fit your foot (pretty nice, isn’t it?).  I remember you had a girlfriend in L.A.   The one who thought it was too cold in S.F.  Do you still see her?
We do get soap-operas in FRANCE.   Thank you.  We even get THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL.  It’s called TOP MODELS in FRANCE, as you can see on these little ads.  I never watch it.  I hate stories that never end!  We also have SANTA BARBARA (we’ve had it for years) but usually we need at least a year to catch up with you (sometimes two or three or even more!).   To give you an idea the other day I saw one of the blond girls get raped (CAROLINE).   You can ask your mom when she saw that.  I’m sure a long time ago.  By now…that same girl must be a grandmother in the States!   I don’t know what guy you saw in L.A. but there is one in that show that I find gorgeous.   I’ll tell you his name.   When I went to L.A. with Carmella one night we went to a Disco in fact.   We went to different club every night!   
In fact—I’m wrong…I remember now that was in San Francisco with my French friend, Elisabeth (remember?) and I danced right next to the guy who plays in that show with a black corvette that talks and stuff.   I don’t remember his name DAVID ‘something’ (David Hassellhoff).   I think he sings now.  Oh well…you know what it’s like to get old!  
We have the movie OLD GRINGO.  I haven’t seen it yet.  I like Jane Fonda.  She’s really pretty.   We don’t have SEA OF LOVE yet.   At least I haven’t heard about it.   I don’t know how to translate ‘Fraicheur de vivre’ but it’s something like ‘Freshness of Living”.   Do you understand that?   Like a cold drink or something like that…Oh well I tried.   Tell me what the earthquake was like.  Write me.  Miss you.Love, Paloma PS-You’ll find with this letter the money I owe you for sending the jeans.   Thanks again.  I love my black jeans.   They’re a little big but I love them.  I’m also sending you one of the last pictures of Jonathan (with my shoes).
How mysterious and difficult it is to live, he thought, and what does it all mean?   Why does my life seem to me so terribly important than anything that has ever happened?   Perhaps in a hundred years people will be reading about me, and about my sadness tonight, and think it only entertaining, if even that.SEVEN GOTHIC TALES (The Roads Round Pisa) by Isak Dinesen