Why I Have Stopped Following Your Posts on Facebook

Dear Friend, I really enjoy the doorway into your life that Facebook provides me. Even though we may not have the opportunity to speak or see each other often (if at all), I appreciate discovering what’s happening in your world. I enjoy reading your posts, seeing your photos, clicking your links when a story interests me and participating in the spontaneity that social media offers. But there’s something I need to tell you. It’s something that is really bothering me. I recognize that you may not care that I am bothered, and that’s okay with me. But I feel compelled to share my thoughts just the same because I’m not sure you are aware of the effect some of your posts have had on me, and perhaps others. You may have some strong opinions surrounding the issues of the day. You may be passionate about your faith. And you may have deeply held social and political positions that are guiding forces for how you live your life. I think it’s essential that we all stand for something. Politically, I believe it’s important to know what you want in a candidate and that you take your civic responsibility seriously. I also believe it’s important to explore your spirituality and seek to develop that part of yourself. Of course, if you have no spiritual beliefs, I respect that as well. We all are free agents and get to make decisions for ourselves. However, one time you made a post that communicated your political, social or religious opinion in such a way that you unwittingly told me I was stupid for not agreeing with you. Oh, it wasn’t directed at me because you probably don’t know how I feel about the issue. But whether you knew it or not, you were speaking to me by lumping me in with the group you were speaking against. I try not to get offended and I chalk it up to your right to think, feel or believe however you want. But your polarizing post did make me groan just a little bit. I let it go. Who am I to tell others how they should or should not share on social media? But then it happened again. And then again. And yet… again. I try to avoid TV news and mainstream newspapers. Their focus on the worst of what is happening in the world is an unnecessary distraction that can become quite depressing. I don’t shelter myself from the harsh realities of the world, but I believe that my greatest contribution comes when I surround myself with optimistic people who are making a positive difference. Frankly, I believe there is WAY more good things happening in the world than there are bad. But you wouldn’t know it from listening to, reading or watching the news. Because of your repeated highly opinionated posts focusing on your political, religious or social stance, I have unfollowed you on Facebook. Oh, we still have the “friend” connection. But I no longer see anything you post. Not only does that apply to the rants which label me or anyone like me as “stupid” or “idiotic”, but it also means I miss out on the stuff I enjoy seeing from you. The photos, the interesting thoughts and the meaningful events of your life that you choose to share are no longer appearing on my feed. That’s unfortunate. When you use social media to make blanket statements with emotionally charged opinions, surely you realize that you are going to offend a lot of people. I know you recognize that not everyone thinks or feels the way you do. But perhaps you aren’t aware that those who think different than you are all over your friends’ list. I, too, have some very definite positions on politics, social issues and matters of spirituality. And in the past, I have probably offended others by expressing them brashly. What I discovered is that my online (and offline) rants didn’t have any positive net effect on others. They just served to alienate people. That led to a shift in how I approached people and our differences. I would no longer use my blog or newsletter to share these opinions. And now that we have social media which allows us to reach our entire friend list with one post, it’s easier than ever to “carpet bomb” our friends, family, associates and followers with our beliefs. But just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you SHOULD. After all, aren’t people the most important thing? Certainly, I fully expect those who specialize in politics to share political messages. I’m not surprised to find someone representing a social movement to be sharing messages and news related to that movement. And if a spiritual leader isn’t talking about their spirituality in a public forum, perhaps there is something wrong. I’m not saying there isn’t a place for discussing the critical topics of the day. There most certainly is. But blasting an entire group of people via social media is not the same as having an open, honest and thoughtful discussion with others who are interested in having that discussion. As much as I admire the devotion of a group of people to enter into the “enemy” grounds and telling those opposed to them why they are terribly wrong to believe/support/think as they do, it’s obvious that such efforts have little effect, except to further polarize. I recently saw a video of this exact thing taking place, but I won’t actually name names because it in itself could be divisive. That would make this letter ironic! I get it. There are times I see a story that infuriates me. It fills me with righteous indignation. And at that moment I feel like nothing is more important than for YOU to know how I feel about it! But that’s just my emotion running away with me. It’s actually a loss of self-control and an attempt to prioritize how I feel about something above the […]