The HarleyAPP FAQ: Where's My Iphone App, Mistress?

Hey losers, I get the same repetitive questions from you idiots all the time, so I wanted to take some time to write out an FAQ for the HarleyAPP so I can make you read this instead of answering all your dumb questions.

1. Why isn't the app for Iphone?
Iphone takes much more time to develop for. Additionally the Itunes store is EXTREMELY picky about what apps they allow in their marketplace. Most people don't know how to jailbreak their phones to allow unapproved apps from 3rd party developers. In short, it takes too long, itunes won't let me do it, and most of you are too stupid to make it worth it.

2. When will you develop the app for Iphone?
No one is PAYING me to build phone apps, so when you ask me to build another app, you're asking me to do literally weeks and months of work for FREE. Well fuck you. I will develop an iphone app when someone makes it worth my time.

3. How can I get you to build an iphone app?
It will cost about $3000 to build the app for Iphone. That's the value of weeks of my time NOT doing sessions with you idiots. If you want me to build the app for Iphone, feel free to pay for it.

4. Can you send text messages from my phone?
Yes,  my app allows me to directly intercept your text messages and send messages from your phone as I wish.

5. How do I get the App off my phone?
You have to pay me an unlock fee. Once you pay me the unlock fee I will give you the code that will allow you to uninstall the app.

6. Why can't I download the app without paying?
Because I spent a lot of time and money developing this app, moron. I paid to make it, now you have to pay to play. Just like always

xox
Love (your money),
Harley