The Incubator

10 minute flash fiction

Prompt: I never wanted to be a super villain, but I owned an apartment.

Image via Flickr by 5of7

I never wanted to be a super villain, but I owned an apartment. I mean, what else was I supposed to do? A single family home was definitely out of my price range and I needed a place to put all my loot. Building a lair was the only logical option.

Okay, so I may have gone a little overboard with the moat and the sharks with lasers on their heads, but I got a tip that they were the last word in home security. You know what I always say, “nothing is more important than peace of mind.”

That’s kind of my catch phrase actually. During my first job I was robbing this bank and I read it right off a teller’s window. It seemed to make people feel better. That’s what it means when people stop screaming and go all white, right? I never could get body language down. Still, I enjoy the appropriateness of stealing a catch phrase.

Now I’m just living the life. Running red lights, popping balloons whenever I see them, and planning to take over the world. The usual.

But on late nights, when I’m all alone, my bath of $100 bills softly lit by the warm glow of a lava trap overhead, I wonder how I started down this road. Did I ever really have a choice, or was it all because I owned an apartment?