Today in Tabs: The News From Dorking & Crawley

Spoopy! Creppy!

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It's October! And I wasn't going to start with spooky Halloween Tabs this early but… gestures vaguely at the moon. A NYC cleanup crew found a human skeleton inside a couch in Brooklyn, and True Detective Season Three immediately broke out. In Michigan, James Bristle (you know, the farmer?) discovered a nearly complete wooly mammoth skeleton that showed signs of human predation. This refrigerator is DEFINITELY NOT INFESTED WITH BATS. And a swarm of flying daddy longlegs are reportedly menacing the hilariously named English villages of Dorking and Leatherhead. Appropriately, the same article also appears in the even more aptonymic Crawley News.