Defining Ourselves as We Choose
It's easy to walk around and talk about all the bad things that have happened to us and how we feel like a victim. Yet when we do that, we often don't realize that we're letting those events not just dictate our feelings, but they leave us feeling bad.
The reality is that stuff happens. Some of us get more of it than others. There is that saying that we can't control what happens to us but we can control how we react to it. Not only that, but we also control whether or not we let it define us.
You have the choice to define yourself as you choose. Sure, go ahead and let all the bad stuff define you, but the days will look darker and you'll feel like you want to sleep all the time.
However, if you choose to face life and see yourself as you want to be, then your perspective will change. When I was in high school, I let events define me. But slowly through adulthood, I have learned to shed that image of myself. After writing manuscripts and short stories about what now I see as weak people (and not being able to watch certain television shows because the characters annoyed me), I realized that isn't how I want to portray myself to the world. And it left me feeling tired and less hopeful. The older I got, the more I realized I didn't want to be Mary Decker Slaney being carried off the track in the 1984 Olympics by her then-burly field event boyfriend. I wanted to be the runner who got up after the track, dusted myself off, and finished the race.
I realize that the big buzzword these days is vulnerability. It's kind of silly because most people know there is a certain vulnerability to anything that you do. But we don't sit around lamenting it like many people are now. Instead, we acknowledge that it's part of going forward– of defining ourselves– and we move on. Part of being strong is being vulnerable at times. It doesn't mean we are weak, it just means we have learned that at times we need to let others help us or acknowledge we can't do everything on our own.
How do you want to define yourself to the world? It's your choice to control the image and the message.
