Review of Starlette by Kyle Andrews
What if almost everyone in the entertainment industry was killed in a single night by a psychotic villain by the dubious name of Bookworm? You’d have the opening events for a fascinating novel called Starlette — one of the most unique books I’ve read in a long time.
On the night of a huge awards show, mass murder occurs, wiping out a whole host of likeable characters introduced in the book’s opening chapter.
Holy Unorthodox Plot Twist, Batman!
Author Kyle Andrews makes up for it, however, by delivering an imaginative second twist: a few of the characters that escaped begin fighting back, led by the unlikely heroine Starlette. She, along with an able supporting cast of characters, code-named with such monikers as Girl Next Door, Wacky Best Friend and Heartthrob.
I know, it sounds bizarre. But if you’re able to just go along with the premise that this is what might conceivably happen if the ultra-influential entertainment industry as we know it today ceased to exist literally overnight, you’ll be rewarded with a compelling and often humorous read.
The counterattackers begin organizing and, slowly but surely, they try to regain the upper hand, with the goal of re-establishing a world with film stars, extras and all the other necessary components that made movies that we all knew and loved.
There are some memorable turns of phrase alongside the fast-paced dialogue:
In a memorable scene after one of the killers returns, looking for survivors, the gun-wielding thug utters a great line: “You can trust me. I drive a tiny electric car.”
As the revolt gets underway, Wacky Best Friend is caught with incriminating evidence. His startled response, facing imminent death: “I want to speak to my agent and union rep.”
Starlette tries to find the head of the lurid tabloid newspaper that has been writing nasty things about the emerging cast and crew. She is surprised to find that he isn’t “in the basement of some old lady’s house,” as she thought, but in a 1920s-era building that has a captivating look and feel.
“(It was a building) not merely from the old Hollywood from which Starlette came, but from the old, old Hollywood, where every star was a vision of glamor and class, and the mysteries of their personal lives was more like urban legends than everyday gossip.”
I won’t give away the final scenes, but you just have to trust that in every good Hollywood film worth its salt, there is a happy ending that brings out the handkerchiefs and makes you leave the theatre humming the title tune.
Light! Camera! Action! Starlette is a bona fide blockbuster, and worthy of a red carpet premiere. I give it five stars.
