Finding Your (im)Perfect Escape

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Hey you,

So, one of the tabs at the top of my website says ���Find Your Perfect Escape���, and I���ve even put it on my new business card (can���t wait to see them!!) but in saying it I need to go back and explain what I mean by the word ���perfect���.

The thing is I love the word perfect and the feeling of it, but it���s also the kind of word that gets thrown around a lot in advertising in a way that can make us have all kinds of fears too. So I want to be really super clear.

I really hate it when the phrase ���Perfect Body��� gets thrown around or ���Perfect Man��� because I think we all know that there is no such thing. As human beings you can guarantee we are imperfect in one way or another.

So what do I mean when I say ���Perfect Escape���? Honestly, it���s like the (im) Perfect Man. The kind of person who comes into your life whose imperfections are right for where you are in your life. The person who you are going to grow with, even if you ultimately don���t stay together. It���s like the film about the man who God turns into a modern day Noah - it drives his wife nuts and she leaves him. Then God (in the shape of Morgan Freeman - who else?!) turns up as a waiter in a diner and asks her ���Well, if you asked God for patience would he be able to just give it to you or would he have to give you a situation where you learned to be patient?���

So sometimes the perfect situation is the one which you don���t want but where you can learn a lesson, or learn about yourself, where you can succeed at something or even fail at something and ultimately take the next step in your personal growth.

Does that mean that every escape has to be bootcamp?

Of course not.

Very often we need exactly what it says on the tin. We need to relax, to switch off, (to switch our phones off), we need to be cared for, loved, touched and reminded that we are as important and special and deserving of great care as much as everyone else on the planet.

Sometimes we do need to be challenged.

Sometimes we get exactly what we said we wanted and realised it���s not what we want.

But all of those steps are perfect.

I was staying at a superb, perfect hotel on a beach this summer and I adored it. Even when a tropical rainstorm came in and my room wasn���t ready I got to hang out in a bar drinking ���perfect��� margaritas. But I noticed after a few days some things I didn���t like and they were mainly to do with other people in the hotel; saving loungers and leaving them empty, reserving tables with a sunset view and not turning up even hours later. And it struck me that this is one of the problems with ���perfect���. As soon as we find something wonderful we have a tendency to want to hold on to it, hoard it even. To worry that it will be taken away from us. It���s not enough for us to be happy in the moment. It���s not enough for us to just enjoy the sunset. We have to take a picture and Instagram so that everyone knows we are enjoying the perfect sunset (not that I would ever do anything like that!) We can���t just enjoy the company of the (im)Perfect Man - we have to know where this is going. (Not that I would EVER think anything like that!)

So sometimes the perfect situation is one in which things are passing us so fast that we have to be in the moment. Like snorkelling with whale sharks (yes, some people were still messing with cameras) or trying to follow a move in a Zumba class, or watching a great movie, or... one of my favourites... surfing. Because there is nothing that will stop you ruminating and being somewhere else in your mind as much as sitting on a surfboard and getting slapped upside the head or knocked off your board when you take your eyes and mind off the waves.

In surfing there is a tendency to talk about the perfect wave, or the perfect surf break and so I learned something a long time ago when talking to proper surfers (i.e. someone who gets on a board more than once every 5 years like me!) Apart from the fact that the perfect wave for a beginner and for someone who has been surfing for decades are completely different, they also say that the perfect wave is the one you���re on. It���s the only one you can surf. It was the inspiration for the title of my book ���Love and The Perfect Wave���.

The perfect body? It���s the one you���re in.

The perfect escape? Sometimes we are limited, by time, by budget, by our physical capability but I believe there is always an escape that���s right for us (even if it���s just a good movie or a good nap.) Sometimes we are so unlimited, there are so many choices and options, that it���s all just a little too daunting (this is how I feel about planning my African safari trip). And that���s when we need to listen to our intuition and let go of our fears and take the leap of faith to find that next escape.

When I took a surf trip to Morocco I didn���t know that aside from the surfing (which I seemed to get progressively worse at despite having a week of surf coaching and them literally holding the board steady for me) that an afternoon trip to a hammam and the most incredible massage would unlock something inside of me, would start a healing process that would ultimately end up in me having a business that takes me all over the world and into some crazy places looking for healing and other wonderful things. But sometimes when you go looking for one thing you find something even better.

Oh, and the perfect food? That���s a slightly dry, stale cheese sandwich eaten after three hours trying to stand up on a surfboard on a beach in Morocco. And juicy Moroccan oranges. See you can learn everything you ever needed to know from surfing. It���s the perfect escape.

Much love, Pearl x