"I don't see you as black..."
Why do some people imagine they are paying a compliment if they tell a black person "I don't see you as black"?
Surely such a statement's as absurd as telling a man (of any race) "I don't see you as a man."
Below is a video of a man, a mixed-race man, discussing his feelings about race and why he doesn't see himself as being black/mixed-race at all. He says that "colour doesn't matter" and that there is no such thing as black culture.
Like me, this man was raised by white adoptive/foster parents in an all-white part of Britain. If I'd shared this man's sentiments I think my white family would have been ecstatic. I believe they hoped or even assumed I'd turn out like this man. Maybe that is what this intangible concept of "racial tolerance" is all about : giving up parts of yourself and feeling ultra-grateful when people accept the you that you have chosen to become.
I've also covered this issue in the February issue of ELLE magazine in South Africa. Check it out :)
