Journaling

When I was little, I had journals coming out the wazoo. Ever since I learned to write my own name, I’ve had a journal to write in. Every trip to the drug store or the dollar store involved me looking at journals, and more often than not, asking my mom to buy them.

And I recorded all the things that I deemed important within their pages.

Around the time I entered middle school is when I left journals behind. There were a lot of little reasons, one of which is that I couldn’t stand the lack of organizing capabilities. In school I had a binder and/or notebook devoted to each subject. Given the nature of classroom curriculums, there was a logical progression in lessons that allowed my binders and notebooks to be organized. I was not so good at this myself.

Then enter my introduction to computers. I didn’t like that journals are not like word documents; I can’t go back and add in details without making a huge mess with arrows. Still, a part of me missed journaling. Every once in a while I’d break out a new coil notebook and devote it to one topic or another, only to eventually peter off and abandon it.

Honestly, school was time consuming. And I had a part time job through most of high school and university. I had to drop a lot of hobbies in order to stay focused.

While I write this I keep glancing to my left at my line of coil bound pages. They contain more things than I can remember without looking inside. Pulling one out at random, I discovered it contains quotes I like. I used to write them all out by hand….the computer has made me lazy.

Anyway, since leaving school behind, I find I have a lot more time to fill. And since I actively started to talk about writing with other writers, I’ve learned that journaling is a big thing in the community. Nearly every writer journals.

At first I was skeptical about re-immersing myself in journals. They’re time consuming. They’re a distraction. They’re messy. They’re an excuse to not get words down. They can’t be that useful.

They are that useful. I’m less uptight about the organizational issue journals present, mostly because I now use them as a place to spew ideas and jot things down about stories, settings, and characters. They’re a place for rawness. And I’ve grown to like the mirroring of the creative mess in my head.

Besides, there’s something about scribbling in a journal with my pencil that hits me on a creative level that I don’t get out of hitting the keys on my laptop. I’m a faster writer on my computer. Writing ideas out by hand lets me savour them because I have to slow my thoughts down.

I will never be like Melissa and be able to write a story out longhand. I admire her for it, but I would need hand surgery at the end and thicker glasses for the transcribing. Neither will I ever be like Kate and colour code my pages with fancy pens. I’ve tried, and when I get caught up I forget to switch ink.

Give me a pencil and a blank page and I’ll happily fill it with disjointed story thoughts that are barely legible with my chicken scratch.

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