The UnDelivered

Most storks loved the babies they carried, their little gurgling, the delicate smell of the falling bits of pee and poo (They couldn’t wear diapers as it added to the weight) but you could safely say Aequon wasn’t one of them.

It was almost as if the babies understood his hatred. They would bawl through the entire route, fart heavily and pee in a whorl, sometimes splashing poor Aequon’s neck. He couldn’t tell you why he dropped the first one but he swore on Neognathae that it wasn’t intentional. He wasn’t that cruel.

The first baby he ooopsie-dropped fell on a rock and hurt her wee head. Aequon had to carry back the squirming, bloody, drippy bundle for he couldn’t deliver this highly squashed bunch of cells to the waiting parents.

The stork yard went into emergency mode. Hisses, honks, croaks, squeals and whistles were heard at a higher decibel than that which was permissible. Finally, a set of twins were separated and they sent two, more responsible storks in different directions. Needless to say those two babies grew up missing a part of themselves, looking for the other half in strangers who always fell short.

After a gap of another month they decided to test Aequon again. He had spent the last thirty days carrying a stuffed teddy bear over a distance of 8,851 miles. Not once had he dropped it.

His mission was to carry a teeny, curly headed cherub with the sweetest dimples to a couple in a tiny village. They had been fighting bitterly for the past five years and this sweet bundle of joy was supposed to be the balm to soothe their poisoned hearts. They really needed the baby more than the baby needed them.

The first 4000 miles were fine. Aequon didn’t think too much of the elfin creature he was carrying but at 4352nd mile, when he was crossing the ocean oopsa-daizee, plop, the burden fell and little dimples was eaten by a very, hungry whale.

Aequon flew back home dejected but lighter. The stork yard didn’t have another set of twins or triplets at that precise moment and the couple have now hired two sets of lawyers to divide their property and memories.

The stork yard didn’t know what to do. They had never in the history of storks come across one who dropped the babies. If this continued they would very soon be out of the delivery business. They were bit reluctant to fire him for since the beginning of evolution they hadn’t done anything like that.

They gave him one more chance. His beak just couldn’t hold on to his precious ware and it slipped, falling amidst a herd of running elephants. What happened to that pink, fragile, bawling package is best not described.

He returned home with a heavy heart and told the stork-yard he quit. They hurrahed silently in their hearts. Now, they wouldn’t have to fire him. He went to the edge of the lake, stood on one leg and pondered over what to do. After a few hours of relative bliss he realised standing on a single leg was the best job in the world and that’s what he was going to do for the rest of his life.

Moral: For job satisfaction you have to be good at your job.

Aequon is drawn by the fabulous Bijoy Venugopal. You can find more of his wonderful stuff here bijoyvenugopal.com