I Spend Way Too Much at Ulta

I’m not a millionaire, not living on a yacht floating through the Bahamas. I don’t have a closet full of Armani or money to gamble away at Vegas . . . but I need to. Not because I truly want to luxuriate in the finery of the lifestyle, not because I’m shallow or superficial.

I need to be a millionaire to support my Ulta and Sephora habits.

Okay, okay, I admit, I have a penchant for the dramatic today. But seriously, I spend way too much money at both Ulta and Sephora. Platinum member over the summer too much. Bathroom sink oozing with bottles of product too much. Myriad eyeshadow choices on the daily too much.

I blame my mother for the addiction. Since that first makeup kit I got for Christmas in fifth grade, I’ve been hypnotized by the magic of potions and creams, powders and polishes. I love the feeling I get when I get a new product, the unwavering dream that the product is going to be it, it’s going to be the life-changing item. Whether it’s a frizz fighting product for my hair or a new shade of eyeshadow, I always think to myself: This is the one. This is the one that is going to make me my best self. So I’m always leafing through Ulta’s ad, inspecting the new tables at Sephora, and even most recently signing up for Petite Vour, a cruelty free subscription.

Plenty of women scoff at makeup junkies like me. It’s all the same, or you’re wasting your money. Don’t you like yourself the way you are? they condemn. To an extent, maybe they’re right. Maybe us makeup junkies are lacking in self-esteem, are chasing an imaginary level of perfection we can’t achieve. Maybe we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment and empty wallets.

Yet, I can’t ever completely believe this. No matter how you psychoanalyze it, I have to admit I’m happy. I like the euphoric rush of trying new products. I like the idea of constant self-improvement. I like that I can express myself in a different way based on the products I use, the color of lipstick I wear. I like the ability to change it up. I like the feeling I get when I bask in the rays of Sephora’s lights or meander through the aisles at Ulta. The only thing that could make it better is if they add an espresso bar.

Mostly though, I love the idea that my search is never over. Like the search for the Holy Grail or for Titanic’s final mysteries, I will keep hunting for that one product, the product that ends my relationship with all other cosmetics, the product that makes me look in the mirror and see: oh my goodness, that’s amazing!

Sometimes in life, isn’t it the hunt that’s the most fun anyway? Makeup junkies unite, and happy beauty product hunting.

Lindsay Detwiler