THE CHILL FACTOR

It's  been an exciting 2 weeks, following a major two months in which a lot of things were accomplished, and before that this year has been amazing and life-changing from beginning to the current date of mid-September. But in spite of all the craziness, I feel a God-given peace and calm like never before. All my life, I've wanted people to like me--and once they saw that, endless criticism and never-quite-pleased coldness resulted. It made them feel important, sophisticated, and smart to never, ever quite say the words I needed. It didn't matter if I deserved to be told I was doing right. Because--what mattered was what they thought of me--because that is what I had told them.

Nowhere was this more present than in my writing career. I grew to believe only writing the "perfect" book would get me readers--and I was always anxious, struggling and miserable because there's no such thing as a perfect book. Telling me I had to be perfect to get readers was really telling me I would never have them. Nobody is perfect.


The pop singer Becky G (whose song "Lovin So Hard" I am really loving so hard right now!) recently posted this on her page this meme about not stressing over results. Professional entertainers live some of the most high-stress lives on the planet, and being constantly in the public eye, they learn early not to care too much about how they appear to others. In fact, their imperfections, relationships, mistakes, and scandals are what make people like and follow them. They are human beings, just like us. They represent us, not by being perfect, but by being like us--faulty, growing, foolish, even downright bad at times. And vibrant and alive as well--like us.

So I'm geared for fall after this great spring and summer knowing I don't have to be perfect to please you or anyone. If you want that--go elsewhere. I don't care. And will I keep on writing?

Absolutely.