It Promised not to Kill me...

The Spider Story said "All I need is a few linking paragraphs and for you to go back and fix the sentences that sounded awesome to you when you still knew what you were trying to communicate." 

What it meant was "You need a full rewrite with 1st to 3rd person narrative switch and it needs to be 2 to 3 times as long as it was to make any damn sense."

Yeah.