Freedom Is A Place Within Me

Freedom Is Within Me: A Place I Rather Be More than Anywhere Else

As I contemplate my life story; I realize I am unraveling a mysterious place I have woven within my own life’s tapestry. A place I have endured unweaving the threads with perseverance and patience, acknowledging the tattered seams. A place I go freely within me to practice overcoming struggle, strife, anxiety, and attachment. I notice my negative eccentric, egotistical thoughts no longer serve me; stringing along cords I have tied from my past that have sabotaged my livelihood, kept me bondage and disconnected from a place where I have resisted being my true self.

I recognize as my story unfolds and continues to offer me this place as an awesome coexistence with life. I discern its many mystical, magical and majestic wonders. It also tells me my tapestry is designed by my patterns I have created, sorted, coordinated, repeated and directed. I have had challenging times when I had to take the space. A time-out for solitude; peace of mind trying to understand, clarify and accept within this place my emotional, mental, physical and spiritual blends coloring the fabric of my life’s tapestry. I have reaped within my life patterns what I have sown; untangling the highs and lows of my sufferings, pains, hurts, and delusions to joy, contentment and unconditional love for myself and others.

I have always known I have wanted within this place, devoted and unconditional loving relationships. I have dreamed most of my life they would be much like me. I have succumbed to knowing I cannot force or control these relationships to happen. Regardless, of how much I thought I knew who, when, where, why and what were the kind of people I liked being around. The big surprise was I was not prepared for any of life’s plan or purpose. Loving another unconditionally, knowing joy and contentment became lessons, principles, and cycles of life ready to teach and fulfill me. The state of being joyful, content and loving unconditionally are far greater than I could ever freely and independently find in any other place or person than within myself. I have learned I can connect with another in an unconditional loving relationship even though we may be polar opposites. It is the freedom to find the beauty and uniqueness that connects us if it is only for a moment or, a season to freely experience and appreciate that beauty and fulfillment shared in those moments without expectations.

 I realize I can be grateful for knowing joy; like hearing a bird chirp its first tweet at the crack of dawn. I know life is giving us both freedom; being graced another day to live upon this Earth. I am content, cherishing life coming full circle at the end of a day. I savor the glory of a spectacular evening’s sunset, soothed by a gentle summer breeze kissing my face and reminding me life mirrors all its gifts freely around me.

But, I too can know sadness and heartache’s pain when a beloved tells me he does not feel the same love as I feel. This can be a hard burden to bear; but, it is through the suffering and pain that has helped me realize I do not need to attach myself to despair or agony. Love unconditionally does bring joy that brings contentment. Love unconditionally brings fortitude that inspires me to rise above confusion, conflict and change. This is freedom I feel life is always willing to give me just to be where I do not have to go anywhere or to anyone with reservations.

The more autonomous I become, the freer I feel I become, feeling at home within myself. This is the place where I would rather be more than anywhere else. I, like all other living beings, am given God’s gift of freedom to be me. Although, I will continue independently to question, ponder, and meditate, untangling what other monumental gifts are those that are given within this place to treasure and relish freely.

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