Little Free Library

Little Free Libraries are all the rage around St. Paul and my family has wanted one for years. Our biggest hold-up is that, frankly, no one in my household is terribly handy. I don't want to cast any aspersions on any of us, but... well, nerds, okay? Books, yes! Hammers... less so.

Shawn, who loves to research and hunt around Pinerest, found us a guy on Etsy who makes little free libraries. The cost could have been prohibitive, but since I started doing the reviewing gig for Bitter Empire, I have had a bit of extra dosh. I decided that nothing would be more poetic than to spend the money I make reviewing books to buy a book-related thing! So, we ordered it, painted it up and... tried to figure out how to mount the stupid thing on a pole in front of our yard. Also, we had to contact the city of St. Paul because you know, it's kind of a structure and, more importantly, we had to dig a hole and I didn't want to puncture any gas mains while setting up a little free library.

Eventually they came out and marked all the pertinent lines and we made a decision. Last weekend, went to Menards with the bracket the Etsy guy sent along for mounting and found someone who would answer my: "What even...? How does?" questions. Thank you, Universe, for providing me with "Alex" who helped answer our biggest question, "How is 7 inches a standard size?" I'd asked a previous guy who was all *shrug*, "Should be 8, right? Hey, Alex..." and Alex just said, "Oh, well, that's because 4 by 4s aren't actually 4 by 4, they 4 by 3 and a half. And two three and a halves make seven."

Then I said, "Okay, Alex, while I have you, riddle me this: I don't want to buy two six foot posts because this is for a little free library and we specifically want the kids in the neighborhood to be able to reach it. Plus, we're putting it on a hill... so you know, slope."

Alex said, "Well, buy one 8 foot 4 by 4, and have our cutter cut it in half."

I LOVE YOU MENARDS GUY ALEX SO MUCH.

Of course, this meant going into the lumber yard of Menards which is something I actually dread. And because Mason and I were worried we were under a "get lost curse" after our mis-adventure with the star party the night before, we.. uh, got lost. Look, it's not that easy to figure that place out okay? Sure, there are giant signs that say "Cedar Posts" but... uh... okay, I don't know know what happened, but luckily there were lots of "Alexs" out there because a guy in a forklift just rolled his eyes at me and pointed to the giant sign that said "Cedar Posts."

Also finding the cutting station? It took longer than it should have, too.

On the other hand I thought for sure I'd f*ck up posthole digging and end up with uneven posts, but we kind of got it in one, which is nothing short of miraculous.

If I can crack the code, I will post pictures when we finally get everything in place (I've been chronicling work so far, but there's currently nothing to look at beyond a post in the ground.)