Enter the Wombat
Previously in the adventures of Gaseous Girl, our heroine was attempting to investigate the origins of Lady Emma Featherson-Cloud when she was suddenly attacked by her nemesis, Hiccup Holly. Holly is now threatening to explode a schoolbus unless Gaseous Girl surrenders. Roll film!
“I can’t believe you’re threatening to explode a loaded school bus!” Gaseous Girl said. This rather obvious statement had a motive; Gaseous Girl wanted to stall Hiccup Holly as long as possible in hopes that something would develop to break the standoff. Maybe Natalie would swing by with her nigh-invulnerability, or Lucy with her lightning bolts.
“Yeah, and I’ll do it in the next ten seconds unless you surrender, like, now!” Hiccup Holly said. “Ten!”
If there was one thing Madeleine hated, it was a countdown. “But, the children!” she exclaimed desperately. “Their education! The classrooms of America hold the future leaders of tomorrow!”
“Oh, please. That is so cliche,” Hiccup Holly said. “Besides, you know what kids are like these days. Future America will thank me. Nine.”
“Cliche? Cliche?” Gaseous Girl snapped. “What’s more cliche than the Bus Full of Innocents thing you’re doing here? I’m surprised you aren’t setting up a Sadistic Choice by threatening to explode my Love Interest!”
“Funny thing. I would’ve, but I couldn’t find your Love Interest. I’m not even sure you have one. Eight.”
Gaseous Girl smiled. “Well, sucks to you, then, because I do have one. We’ve got a date planned for Saturday night!”
“Oh, sure you do,” Hiccup Holly said. “Sure. Seven.”
Madeleine actually didn’t have a date for Saturday; she hadn’t yet responded to Evan’s request about their next meeting. But she wasn’t about to tell her nemesis that. “Yes, in fact, I do. We’re going to have a nice low-key coffee date at….” With horror she realized she was blanking on the name of the coffee place.
“Liar!” Hiccup Holly said, chortling. “Six!”
“You’re threatening to explode a bus; you’ve hardly got the moral high ground here,” Gaseous Girl commented.
“Oh yeah? Well…..yeah.” Hiccup Holly paused, not sure what to object to that. “Five?”
“Don’t you have any conscience at all? I know you’re not totally messed up. We stopped that apocalypse a while back, didn’t we?”
“Hey, I don’t want the world smashed up because of some stupid collapsing anomaly, ‘kay? I’m still evil. Four.”
“And why not?” Gaseous Girl pressed. “Because if you were really absolutely evil you wouldn’t care if the world got smashed, would you?”
“I still want to, like, live, you know?” Hiccup Holly returned. “Three.”
“”Exactly!” said Gaseous Girl, trying hard to remember the speech and rhetoric class she’d taken in college. “Life! Life is good! Life has…hamsters, and summer rainbows, and shoes, and brown paper packages tied up with strings!”
Hiccup Holly’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a second, I know that line, that’s from the Sound of-”
There was a sudden wham. Hiccup Holly went flat on the ground. The bus rumbled by on its way, entirely unharmed. Gaseous Girl sighed in relief, as a figure in a cape and cowl skidded to a stop beside her. “Ah, good. I was hoping someone would show up. Hey, you’re new.”
“Yeah. I’m the Wombat.”
“The…Wombat.”
“Yep.”
“Oy.”
