Open Up to Optimism

Who was it that said that a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty? Someone smart who had clearly faced his or her own tribulations, no doubt.

Not so long ago “optimist” and “pessimist” were just words that described one’s outlook or tendencies in framing events. Now there’s an enormous body of research in the field of positive psychology that says optimism not helps you cope when the crap hits the fan, it also improves your immune system and prevents chronic disease. Time to pay attention babies.

If you’re an optimist you believe that whatever the challenges you are facing, they are temporary and will not ruin your whole life. It may take some work, but those challenges are manageable. Think back to the last challenge you faced. Did you feel overwhelmed, out of control, despairing? Or did you think to yourself, “Crap! Okay, what do I have to do first?”

Here’s a simple test: You write a proposal for work or a paper for school. You get a heap of negative feedback. Do you say:

“Cripes that was a tough one! But y’know, that was just one miserable mess,” or
“I can’t believe how often I screw things up; I’m never going to …”

Psychologists call how you respond to setbacks your “explanatory style.” If you view events as external to you — it was a hard test — as opposed to internal “I always screw things up”, you’re optimistic. So, too, if you see things as unstable — you can change it — versus stable — this will always happen.

If you see your ineptitude as affecting all aspects of your life, as opposed to a solitary occurrence, you’re definitely a pessimist.

Optimists recover from disappointments faster. Optimists have a greater sense of satisfaction with their lives and higher self-esteem. And they’re more likely to engage in problem-solving when faced with a tough situation. Wouldn’t you rather be an optimist?

For some, optimism seems to come naturally. Whether it is in their natures or has come though lessons learned in childhood, their optimism radiates. They’re often referred to as “lucky.”

If you aren’t in the lucky group who sees the donut and not the hole, you can do something about it. The brain is a marvelously plastic thing capable of embracing great change. And if you want to shift yourself closer to the positive side of the optimism/pessimism scale, you can, if you’re prepared to do some work.

Whenever you catch yourself in negative territory around things like how you feel about yourself, how you manage conflict, or how often you give into peer pressure, stop the thoughts. Just say, “Stop thinking that way.”

About ninety percent of how happy you are comes from how you choose to perceive things. Instead of seeing things as your fault, reframe what is happening to move the blame to an external source. (No, this is not copping out! This is retraining your brain to see negativity as external to YOU.) Blame the difficulty of the test. Blame the stupidity of the people who didn’t understand the proposal. You want to move the locus of the negativity from inside you to outside you. Even if you are part of the problem and you must do some personal tweaking, the problem does not exist IN you.

Try again. Optimists give themselves many opportunities to succeed, framing their less successful attempts as practice. Pessimists give up. If you want to move yourself closer to the positive side of the scale you have to be persistent. Hard work leads to success, which puts you into the positive feedback loop.

There’s also value in pretending to be an optimist. You know the old saying, “Fake it till you make it?” Pretending to be optimistic can have a strong impact on sliding you along the scale. If you find it hard to pretend, find an optimistic friend and follow his or her lead. Socialize with cheery people. Bounce ideas of positive people at work.

You don’t have to believe these tactics will work for them to work — like an antibiotic, they just will — all YOU have to do is try them.