Blog Post Number Zillion and One
Ha! I had lunch with a writer friend last week and we started talking about tropes in romantic fiction. The things we are willing to suspend disbelief for in a book that we don't necessarily believe in real life. Or that we believe, but with qualifications.I thought rather than me pontificating on what I think all that means, it would be nice to just have a discussion with you, and you tell me what you think it means. If anything. :-)
So here are the topics we discussed.
1 - Love at First Sight
I actually believe in love at first sight. As a matter of fact, I have personal experience with love at first sight. So this is something I believe in both in fiction and in reality.
What about you?
2 - Gay for You (or the alternative version: Straight for You)
I don't believe in this in reality. But I also have no problem admitting I haven't experienced or witnessed everything in the world--and that I understand that people are complicated and wildly diverse critters.
I do understand the romantic appeal of these GFY or SFY stories.
What about you?
3 - Love Conquers All
Yeah. Not so much. I wish it was true, but no. However, I do completely love the idea in romance fiction--especially when the characters are shown as working hard to fix the problems that exist between them. Because that I do believe: love takes work and commitment. And hard work and commitment can solve an awful lot of problems.
What do you think?
4 - Opposites Attract
This is true. I have seen this and I have experienced this. Attraction does not always lead to Happily Ever After, however, but I have seen Opposites living HEA. Or as close as we get to HEA in real life.
You?
5 - Reunited and it Feels So Good
Again, yes. I have seen couples break-up and even years later get back together and live HEA (or, again, as close as we get to HEA in real life). I have not experienced this personally, however. I really don't have regrets about past relationships. I mean, yes, I have regrets, but not about the relationship being over and having moved on.
What do you think? Feel free to expound. I love it when we have these in-depth discussions!
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1 - Love at First SightI once started a new job and was doing the introductions round with my new boss. I walked in to an office and looked into the eyes of the guy in there, and I couldn't even get my name out. Turned out he was married and had children, so I spent the next year torn between this silly hopeful joy every time I heard his voice and misery knowing nothing could ever happen.
So yes, I'm a believer in Love at First Sight, but I tend not to buy it in fiction. I also think that it is overused in romance fiction, although a good writer can pretty much convince me of anything.
2 - Gay for You (or the alternative version: Straight for You)
I don't think people can change their sexuality for another person, but I do think many people have a touch of the Bis. I can buy someone later in life realizing their capacity for same-sex love, but not for only one person.
Gay (only) for You doesn't really appeal to me, partly because I don't really believe it and partly because there is something about it that suggests 'destiny' and 'The one' and the more romance I read the less romantic I find the 'one true love' or 'one true mate' I see the romance more in having a choice and choosing someone.
3 - Love Conquers All
No, I don't think love conquers all, not even in fiction.
4 - Opposites Attract
Yes, to some extent. I think it is beautiful when two people balance each other out. I like the idea of a pair looking unlikely from the outside, but fitting on their own.
5 - Reunited and it Feels So Good
Yes, if the reason for the break-up is resolved.
1. I don't believe in love at first sight (have not experienced it for myself). I just have a hard time believing that you could fall in love with someone's personality after just meeting them. They might meet all the criteria in the looks and attraction, but I believe love is more than that. I can tolerate it in fiction, if done correctly.2. QFY - I believe that people are very complicated and some may not realize they are attracted to the same gender until they meet a person that is right for them and that makes them realize the "hidden" bisexuality . Probably babbling here, but I am a bit undecided on this topic, and definitely like reading about a "straight" shooter falling for another guy for the first time :) especially a big macho/jock falling for a not-so-macho guy. Jake, to me is sort of perfect for this. He has know his attraction toward other men, but not love. Adrien changes that because Jake's feelings for him are something he has never experienced before. Maybe not the exact same thing as QFY, but to me it is similar and more believable than someone just being attractive to one man and other times all women... But then again, I do not believe in soul mates, so that might have something to do with it...
3. Love conquers all - not so much. I think will, determination and hard work prevail. Sometimes it's just healthier to say goodbye. In fiction, don't really like it when it is not warranted. Even when it came to Adrien and Jake, I feel that if Adrien told Jake off, I would have been ok with it (eventually, after days of crying). However, I did not see Adrien with anyone else either (no Mel, please and thank you) and I really wanted a happy ending for him. So my point is, I am ok with not so HEA.
4. Opposites attract - I'm living it, I'm loving it in fiction. This goes for both, different personalities and different physical appearance.
5. Reunited it feels so good - no particular preference here. Sort of living it (if breaking if off for 4 months counts as enough time as an actual split lol). Not something I would look for in the next book, but loved the dynamic between Kit & JX and Tucker & Elliot :)
3.
GFY or SFY. Hmm. Maybe, but I need to see some pretty spectacular writing skills. My cynical sides says "convince me that passion can change a persons lifestyle that drastically." On the other hand, I have met a few people who truly don't seem to have a preference for guys or girls, but seem to be drawn to a personality type.
Literary devices that generate a rant from me:
1.
Not sure if this actually qualifies as a trope, but the idea certainly frustrates me.
The story is over when the couple finally gets together. Sure, this is a nice place to end a story, but really? I thought that was just the beginning. Does romance really die after the honeymoon?
2.
My personal favorite from the comic book industry: Superheroes can't ever settle down because having a wife/husband is both a liability and boring.
Is it really that hard to keep a romantic relationship interesting in an action series?
My significant other is the one who drives me to the hospital after an adventure goes awry, and the one who finances my continued attempts at heroics. After two decades, I don't consider my significant other a liability or boring. Maybe we are the exception to the rule? Maybe my significant other is the actual superhero?
How many book series start with a wedding and end ten books later with the hero and their significant other growing old together?