What’s love Got to do with it?

Love…we get the concept of this confused a lot. It’s not a matter of sending flowers on valentines day and getting our birthday sex. It goes a lot deeper. It’s daily sacrifices, choosing to put someone else above yourself. That’s easier said than done when you grow up and live 25 years before committing your life to someone. Each person brings in a lot of baggage, a lot of hurt, a lot of habits to a marriage. It takes learning what to let go of in order to bring cohesivness. It takes caring, taking the extra time to find out how the other person is doing, even when you don’t feel like it. There aren’t always fireworks, and during those times it’s super important to make decisions that increase both of your loves for one another.

It’s digging in and saying, I’m not feeling it right now, but I made a committment to you and that means more than my fluctuating feelings.

It means faithfulness, not just sexually but emotionally. We live in culture that parades sex and nudity around like it’s nothing. That doesn’t lead to good things. You have each other, that should be enough. Avoid things with excessive exploitation of other people.

Crush on your spouse, not ideas of movie stars or musicians. They are just people with their own faults and flaws like everyone else, and you don’t have a relationship with them.

Guard your love. Guard it fiercely, not in the crazy jealous sense, but in the “you have my love, and don’t have to worry about anything” sense. Keep your word. If you mess up or hurt your spouse, make amends, don’t play the “I’m right, they’re wrong” game. Fess up when you screw up.

It’s not a secret formula, it’s not based on whether you are compatiable, you obviously are or you never would have hooked up in the first place. Stick it out, and throw yourself all in. Don’t go half hearted in, but stay true whether you feel like it or not. It’s worth it.