Movie Madness

I love going out to the movies. With popcorn and Coke light in hand, (it’s a ritual), I plop down onto the seat, my husband next to me and we crunch away. Quietly, of course. Don’t you hate when things go quiet and you can hear yourself crunching? I stop with a mouthful of popcorn and as soon as the music/sound is up, off I go again. When the movie is finished I’m usually covered in salt and/or cheese and chives powder in places I shall not name.

We also watch movies at home of course. Anyway, we bought the DVD of Noah and Son of God, and settled down to watch on our new curved screen 3D, blah, blah, blah. Sans popcorn and Coke Lite.

Let’s talk about Noah:

If Hollywood is going to make a movie based on the Bible, I wish they’d stick to the facts. Come on! Portraying the Watchers as giant, compassionate rock things. They were evil, twisted, demented fallen angels, and couldn’t give a hoot for mankind. They knew exactly what they were doing when they left their high station and decided to get busy with women – and play around with DNA, mixing and splicing and producing horrible creatures that are the things of myth and legend.

God did not need the fallen Watchers to defend Noah and his family when they boarded the Arc for greener pastures after slurping around in the boiling, roiling waters of the Flood.

Now, as for Noah’s sons, Shem, Japheth and Ham, they already had wives when they placed their weary feet aboard the Arc. You’d be tired too after years and years of building this great, big vessel. I won’t even go into how exhausting it must have been for eight people to feed thousands upon thousands of animals for forty days. Imagine the smell from all the waste. Okay, let’s not go there.

As for the mad, evil, king stowing away on board and getting cosy with Ham? Not true. Would God, who had gone to so much trouble to save Noah and his family and performed many miracles – you know: spoken to Noah, given Noah the plans for the vessel, commanded the animals to journey to the Arc in twos, tame the beasts to live side by side without eating each other and the humans…have allowed the Watchers to hold off the hordes just before the rains came down…I don’t think so.

Even if you don’t believe in God, if you’re an atheist, a pagan or whatever blows your hair back, I still think that if you’re producing a movie or writing a book, based on facts, from whatever source you choose, then the story should be factual.

I’m all for artistic license on the blurry parts that aren’t written down on ancient scrolls and history books. But historical facts are facts, no matter what the source or what you ‘believe.” For me this movie was a disappointment. Have you watched Noah? What say ye then? Really interested in your comments.

I’ll get to Son of God in my next post.