Taking a Lesson from Trashy Tabloids

I'm about to jaunt off to my lengthy bi-monthly session at the hairdresser. It's the high, high price one pays for platinum hair -- quite literally. Although I'm not so keen on the amount of time it takes to slather burning bleach onto my scalp and snip my errant ends, I do love perusing the trashy magazines. It's my one chance to catch up on the cultural ongoings of this great nation. No one does tabloids like the Brits!

Writers could learn a thing or two from tabloid writing. Say what you like about such news outlets -- you have to admit, they're never boring. With punchy, rhythmic language, every word counts. Every sentence brings you deeper and deeper into the story, and just when you think you know what's happened, POW! They hit you with another twist.

They're in, they're out, and they leave you with a definite emotional reaction. What more could you ask for (facts aside)? Perhaps I've found a new calling. Move over, Piers Morgan!

Do you read the tabloids? Come on, admit it!