Just ask

I spent years of my life educating people about how to ask someone if they were suicidal. And because it's National Suicide Prevention Week, it's a good time for a reminder that if you're worried about someone, then you need to ask.

It's scary when we're worried about someone we care about, but often that fear keeps people from doing something about it. Some people are afraid that the person will say yes, that their friend or loved is is thinking about ending his or her life. However, there is a difference between thinking about it and actually having a plan in place. I believe that just about everyone has thought about suicide at one time or another– probably irrationally, but more as a coping mechanism on a bad day. The difference is that for most people those are fleeting thoughts and they move on.

But for others, there is pain we can't always begin to understand. The person who wants to die has built a wall up around him or herself, one that we can't penetrate no matter how much we tell them how great their life is. That's not what they want to hear. They want someone to listen to that pain and help them understand it– process it– before they can move on and think about the good things in their life.

And if they do tell us they are suicidal, sometimes people don't know where to go next. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a place to start (1-800-273-TALK). No one should be alone with someone who is suicidal. Get help. While we don't have as much help as we should available, the resources have multiplied in the years since I began educating people about suicide.

But if we don't ask them if they are thinking about suicide, about thinking about killing themselves, they are less likely to get the help the need. 

Yes, it's a scary moment, but if you don't ask, the possible end result is much worse. Take the time if you're worried about someone. Life is fleeting and we only get one chance at it.