Should I Tell New Lover I Was Raped?

Dear Dr. Betty,

I was raped when I was 16. I never told anyone except my best friend and therapist. It was a very traumatic time and I was in a depressed state for most of my teen years. I had a boyfriend for a year but never had sex with him because I was too scared.

I'm 22 now and I'm in such a better place. Attending therapy helped a lot. I havent had sex since (I've had oral sex) and now I have the chance to hook up with a friend of mine (we both made clear its just sex) and now I'm not sure if I should tell him what happened? My concerns are that it will hurt since it's technically my 'first" time and that I wont know what to do. So my question is should I tell him? Do you think it will hurt a lot?

Thanks again.

J

Dear J,

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