Why did I change the opening scene of HE'S STUCK AS A SCHOOLGIRL?

Although it's been a few months since I published He's Stuck a Schoolgirl: A Transgender Novel of Sugar and Spice, I recently made some substantial changes to the opening scene and republished the book. Originally the book opened with the warlock Joe Withers in a liquor store, buying a glossy teen magazine so he can use the cover image in a spell. The clerk gave Joe a weird look for buying the magazine and Joe felt embarrassed and hurried out.

This is how the book opens now:

Joe Withers stood at the liquor store's counter, his face burning with embarrassment as he tried to avoid making eye-contact with the clerk.

Joe was buying a copy of All About Me!, a glossy magazine aimed at pre-teen girls. On the cover a cute little redhead in a schoolgirl uniform was giving the camera a melodramatic pout as she slouched beneath the weight of her heavy backpack. Beside her were the words OMG, TIME FOR BACK TO SCHOOL!!!, written in bold pink type.

It was an old issue, on sale several months out of date, but Joe didn't care. He only needed it for the cover.

Joe was 27 years old, tall and awkward and probably not quite old enough to have a daughter who would be old enough to read this magazine. As he set it down on the counter the fat, hairy clerk gave him a distinctly disapproving look.

"It's not for me," Joe said. "It's for my little sister."

He regretted it as soon as he'd said it. It sounded so obviously fake, and only made the moment more embarrassing.

The clerk laughed without smiling. Joe felt like giving up, just running out of the store and leaving the copy of All About Me! behind him on the counter.

But then Joe remembered that he was a powerful warlock now and he didn't have to put up with stupid crap like this anymore. He'd studied the ancient texts and learned their secrets. (Well, some of their secrets, anyhow.) He could just do a quick Obi Wan on this clerk, scramble his brains for a second and walk out of the store without even having to pay for the magazine. Joe didn't have much experience with persuasion spells yet, but this would be a good chance to practice.

Joe held up his hand, speaking in a calm, steady voice. First he said the persuasion incantation, a few words of ancient Akkadian. Then he spoke the command.

"You're going to give me this magazine," he said. "For free. And after I leave you won't remember that I was ever here..."

The clerk's eyes went hazy, his jaw slack. The spell was actually working! Joe held his breath, giddy with excitement. His spells hardly ever worked right on the first try.

But then the clerk looked wobbly on his feet and Joe hesitated, worrying this guy was about to fall over. Had Joe done the incantation right? He only wanted to confuse the clerk, not leave him as a drooling idiot.

"I..." The clerk looked kind of sick. "I'm going to give you..."

Joe lowered his hand and the clerk stumbled forward, steadying himself against the counter. The clerk blinked a few times and his eyes regained focus.

"Come on, buddy," he said. "Quit screwing around. Do you want your little girl magazine, or don't you?"

Without looking at the clerk again Joe slapped a few bucks down on the counter and left the store, not even waiting for his change. Then he hurried out to his car and took off down the street, the tires of his old Honda squealing.

Why did I change it? I realized it'd work better if we had some indication at the beginning that Joe has real magic powers and he's not just delusional. This way we learn a lot about Joe in a hurry He's reckless and selfish enough to try a spell on a stranger but he panics and stops when he realizes he could actually harm the clerk.

Once a book is out there I try to resist pulling a George Lucas and going back to revise everything. But some things I just can't leave alone, and this was one of them. I think the book works better like this. Hopefully you'll agree.