Ben-ism of the Day – How to Make Summer Salad in the UK

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Wash 1 limp lettuce, waking gently the slugs and earwigs hibernating there. Place to one side.

Boil a large potato for 3/4 hour, place outside for 30 seconds to cool.

Add unripened tomatoes and rock hard avocado. Season with leaves from dead basil plant in kitchen.

Mix 5 parts virgin olive oil to 1 part balsamic vinegar to 82 parts water.

Confirm bottle of Hawaiian Tropic Total Sunblock (SPF 2) bought in 1984 is full.

Straighten spokes of golfing umbrella.

Using scythe, hack path through fro...

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Published on July 26, 2015 11:15
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