Random Entry # 2

Writer: "The feeling of vomit in her stomach intensified as she—"
Editor: "So the character is nauseous?"
Writer: *stink eye* " —as she perched like a red sparrow, her feet on the railing—"
Editor: "Color isn't needed—"
Writer: "Her face stared down the hundred floors below."
Editor: "That doesn't make any sense."
Writer: "It was clear to the crowd why the writer had pushed the editor off the roof."
Editor: *long pause* "You think you're clever now?"
Writer: *smiles* "Want to know why the writer wasn't convicted?"
Editor: *sighs* "Why?"
Writer: "She erased the evidence."
Editor:*scoffs* "An editors job."
Writer:"Which is why it was ruled a suicide."
Editor: "Then I quit."
Writer: "Good. I have no motive now."
Agent: "What's going on in here?"
Writer: *grins* "You just entered a bloodbath. Look what she did to my manuscript? Have you ever seen so much red?"
Agent: "Only at Christmas."
Editor: "Happy Holidays."
Writer: "Careful now, I don't need my agent being a witness to a crime."
Agent: "Don't worry, confidentially agreements protect us."
Editor: *laughs weakly* "Funny."
Agent: "That's where you're wrong, Editor. My client isn't a humor writer, she's dark crime."
Writer: *winks at Editor* "I could be your biographer."
Editor: *runs to door* "This is ridiculous, I'm outta here!" *leaves*
Agent: "That's the fifth editor we've scared this month. Can't anyone take a little joke?"
Writer: *shrugs* "She obviously wasn't that good. What kind of Editor says 'outta'? Besides, she butchered my manuscript."
Agent: "Well, it does looks like a middle-schooler wrote it the day before his essay was due."
Writer: "Tell your son thanks for me."
Agent: "Ha-ha."
*Editor runs into room, two security guards scrambling behind her. She points at the Agent and Writer who stare in shock.* "These two planned my murder right in front of me! Arrest them!"
Writer: "Oh crap."
Agent: *professionalism taking over* "What seems to be the problem, gentleman?"
Guard #1: "This woman says you threatened her life?"
Writer: "Oh no."
Guard # 2: "What is it?"
Writer: *stands up from table* "It's happening. They warned us it would but I didn't—I couldn't believe it."
Guard #2: *gulps* "Believe what?"
Writer: "Remember the spill that happened yesterday?"
Guard #1: "You mean when the coffee machine fell over?"
Writer: "Yes! The mechanics wanted to evacuate the building—"
Editor: "No they didn't!"
Writer: "They said the anti-freeze in the tubing had broken open and the chemicals leaked into the floor drain, contaminating the water that recycles into the air conditioning vents. Gary didn't believe them but I had wondered . . . ."
Editor: "It's a coffee machine! It doesn't have anti-freeze!"
Agent: *starts shaking uncontrollably* ". . . No, it can't be happening."
Writer: "It all makes sense. The Editor's mad ramblings of conspiracy and murder—My Agent getting the shakes—my throat had a funny tickle earlier, and oh —oh no!" *arms shake wildly. "The fumes have spread into this room! You might be contaminated too!"
Guard #2: *pales* "Let's get out of here!"
Guard #1: "Wait a minute!"
Editor: *sighs w/ relief* "Oh thank God, a sane person."
Guard #1: "I drank that coffee yesterday."
Writer: *shouts* "Run! Everyone get out of here, we need to evacuate the building! It's all Gary's fault! Don't inhale!" *dramatically falls to the ground. Agent coughs continuously before collapsing on top of Writer.*
Agent: "Save yourselves!"
*Guard # 2 flees the room as Guard#1 starts to have a coughing spasm as he drags the furious Editor down the hallway. Agent rolls off Writer. Seconds barely pass and the fire alarm goes off, the shrieking siren bouncing off the Styrofoam walls. Static blares from the p.a. speakers as CEO Gary makes the announcement,
"Attention staff. This is not a drill. The building has been exposed to a violent contagion. The fire department and the police are on their way and have alerted the CDC. No matter how scared you may feel you can't leave—" *coughs uncontrollably. "Excuse me. Disregard that statement—run for your life!"
*Pausing in silent shock, the Writer and the Agent look at one another, their eyes wide at what was happening because of their 'joke'. Then they both burst into laughs as the Writer winked at the Agent and said,
"And you almost rejected my letter."
--------------------THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I WATCH ----------------------------------LAW & ORDER (SVU) MARATHONS RIGHT BEFORE THE IDEA OF AN EDITOR/WRITER CONVERSATION POPS INTO MY HEAD----------------------- SOMEHOW IT TURNED INTO SOMETHING ELSE BY END OF IT THOUGH LOL-----------------------------------------------------------------------