The End of Summer – And How We’re Feeling About That

Everyone, it’s time for a collective sigh or scream – it’s the end of summer 2015…

Yes, it’s time people. The summer has ran away from us yet again, and this time it’s ran much faster than ever before. Or is it that just me? The way I see it, the summer, and the days in general, are going much faster because we’re older now. We have more responsibilities, more deadlines, more crap to deal with and just generally MORE going on. When we were kids, we didn’t care about time. All that mattered was having fun with no consequences. But now, there are consequences. If you spend a day at the park or playing video games, you regret that you didn’t get that assignment done or write that book instead. Time matters now, and so it feels like it’s going much faster and we have a lot less of it.

And it’s scary, isn’t it? If your life is on the right path, maybe you’re not as scared as me, though. Maybe time is passing and you’re happy because your girlfriend is pregnant and you can’t wait to meet your child. Or you’re getting closer to that big promotion. Or your huge trip to China is drawing nearer. But I don’t feel that way. I feel like I’m in limbo. Floating, drifting… Everyone and everything around me is moving. They’re going back to uni come September. Or they’re starting a fancy new job. Some are even getting married or having children.

I’m happy for them, of course, but I can’t help comparing. Comparing my indecision and lack of certain direction against their firm grasp on life. Yes, they’re facing their own difficulties, but at least they’re on a set journey whilst doing it. I loved Summer because for those few months, I forgot that I was the only one not really doing something. Everyone was back home and on holiday and chilling out, just the same as me. But now, that’s going to change. I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb.

I’m trying to see that as a positive though. To be proud that I’m not following the crowd because it would be easier and I’d be safer. That I have the chance to do something else, and get to where I want to be by my own volition. I just don’t know how. And without people around me to ease that stress and pressure, I’m scared of falling. Honestly, I am. But damsels, that doesn’t make me a fool or weak. Nor would it for you. If you’re never scared, that means you’re never doing something worthwhile or new or exciting. It means you’re not truly living.

Here’s a few things that I’m going to do in order to face my fears and get going with my life. Hopefully they work out, and hopefully they can inspire you too.

I’m going to stop focusing on what other people are doing. To achieve this, I probably should use Facebook less.
I’m going to apply, apply, apply! For everything, everywhere so that at least I can feel like I’m taking steps in the right direction.
I’m going to fix other broken things in my life, in order to feel more comfortable. This is through exercise, changing my eating (expanding and cutting things out), reading and writing, and enjoying quality me time.
Help other people feel good about themselves; this can be very rewarding and healing for you too.
Get out of the house!
Not feel guilty or stress over spending time with my boyfriend or my family. They love me and I should soak that up. (We deserve it, right?!)
Get used to being alone – in case I need to relocate for a job.
Decide what I want, and what I don’t, so that I can have better focus.
Accept failure and move on.
Be open about my feelings so that they don’t consume me.

All in all, I’m trying to remember that I’m only twenty. That it’s OK to make mistakes and not know what I’m doing tomorrow. I’m allowed to write till my heart’s content if that makes me happy. It’s a shame that there is so much focus on money and jobs that people forget about just being happy. Yes, having money makes us happy, but that shouldn’t be at the cost of working a job that we hate for 40 hours a week. So yes, as crazy as it sounds, I’m not going to sell my soul for a pay-check – not yet, at least. I’ll let you know how that one goes…

So yes, summer is over and we’re all getting ready for things to become more serious. You know why autumn is called the fall? Because that’s what we do. We fall. Come September, things just get harder – but you know what? That doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It’s harder, but it can be worthwhile. It’s productive. It’s time to tick things off our lists and say we did something!

Let’s be proud of ourselves by the end of 2015, and be able to embrace 2016 with open arms and cheeky grins. We’re on the decline towards the end of year, so get ready to make the end count.

~ Damsel