Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up: Memoir Musings

Posted by Kathleen Pooler/@kathypooler

“Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite: “Fool!” said my muse to me, “look in your heart and write.” Philip Sydney, Astrophel and Stella  (Goodreads quote)

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

 

Well, not really. I haven’t fallen and I can get up…BUT–and it’s what comes after the but that counts–the truth is, my story has fallen and it can’t get up. Some people call it writer’s block. Some believe there is no such thing. I’m not blocked from writing. I write everyday–on my blog, in my journal, on social media. But I am stuck when it comes to penning my next memoir.

 

I thought it would be so simple to write my second memoir after completing Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse, which, by the way, turned out to be the story I didn’t intend to write but begged to be told.

 

I was hopeful that all the hard lessons I learned in writing and publishing it would pay off and make writing the second one much easier. I already have 14,000 words of it written in first draft form. Yes, they need a lot of work but I’m used to that.

 

The story is bubbling under the surface like a volcano getting ready to erupt. As of this writing, the vignettes are safely stashed away in a corner. I swear they are crying out to me to pay attention to them.

 

So why do I turn to other activities—social media, email, staring out the window,etc—when I should be concentrating on my story? It’s like cleaning the oven instead of writing that paper in college. Yes, I did that.

 

Maybe if I write about it and put it out there, I might get inspired to get a grip and get my focus back? So I hope you tell me what works for you. I need all the help I can get.

 

Here’s what I think…more questions than answers:

 

Now that I’ve published a book, I have realistic expectations about what’s involved in the process. It’s like starting a marathon and realizing the 26.1 miles you have to endure to complete the race. I know what I’m getting into this time. Maybe this is holding me back from starting?

 

Maybe I need to give myself time to enjoy marketing my first memoir before I plunge into what I know will be a long, grueling, yet exhilarating journey?

 

Maybe the topic—a cancer diagnosis and my son’s spiral into substance abuse—is too painful to relive?

 

Maybe the fact that I will be telling some of my son’s story makes me feel uncomfortable. He has full awareness of my intentions and has given me his blessings. He will read every word before it is published. But, what liberties can I take and still do the story and him justice? I know I won’t know until I try but maybe this is holding me back?

Am I in a self-imposed jail cell with the door open?

What will it take to move forward? time? journaling? meditation/prayer? a vacation from it all?

 

Then I ask myself, “Why do you want to write this story?” …

 

and that small voice within tells me,

 

”because you cannot NOT write it. You want to share your journey from despair to hope. You want to show how your faith gave you the strength to overcome and move on to a life of peace and joy. You want to share your story to enlighten, ,enrich and inspire others traveling the same path.”

 

I know that once I can clarify and connect to my purpose for writing this story, the rest will fall into place as long as I show up and start writing. And I know the long, grueling journey will be worth it in the end.

Photo Credit: Flickr Creative Commons

Progress..TBA.

 

Thank you for listening!

 

How about you? What is holding you back from writing your story?

 

I’d love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below~

 

 

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: Congratulations to Marian Beaman and Tracey Lee Karner. You are the lucky winners of Lucinda Clarke’s eBook, Walking on Eggshells!

This Week:

I’m also over at Gwendolyn Plano’s blog, From Sorrow to Joy-Perfect Love with a guest post, “Faith and Freedom.”

Wednesday, 07/22/15:

“Bad Reviews: Why You Should Read Them (and How to Survive): A WOW Blog Tour with Author Eric Trant.”

 

Next Week:

  Monday, 07/27/15:

“The Benefits of Journaling in Writing a Travel Memoir by Trish Nicholson.”

July 2015 Newsletter: “Freedom and Independence are Balancing Acts.”