when your summer was a bit of a bust — and not at all what you hoped

okay, so this young woman? Has turned out to be one of my best friends. Brave as all get out, smart as a whip, walks only in leaps of faith, & if you follow her on Instagram you know how relentlessly determined she is to always find the hope, always find the humor — always find Him. My heart friend,   Meredith Toering,  with  the next glorious installment of our Unwrapping Series (have you checked these out? Your soul & summer will exhale its thanks to you) so…

 

photos and text by Meredith Toering

I open my door and step out into the humid Beijing morning.

Hair hot on my neck, twisting and curling, trying to escape its’ hasty, shoulder-thrown braid.

Walk to work. Stepping the same path as always, I finally realize the heat. “It’s summer. This! Right here, right now. It snuck up on me this year…. but…how can it feel so different?”

Summer was my childhood favorite.

The schoolwork finally finished, it was a bit of rest and finally time for FUN! The magic months were here, bright blue skies and crashing ocean waves announcing summer’s arrival.

The days were filled to the brim with family teasing and laughing friendships, until August finally bid summer goodbye with mountain hikes, clothes still lingering with family camp smoke.

It was a wild and carefree time, and I entered each fall holding tightly to summer’s stories, heart full of His light.

I moved to China last fall, after summer’s end.

“Come? Run a foster home for babies with very broken little hearts?”

Little feet and little hands, a bracelet hinting of love and of loss. Tied around her wrist by an unknown mother, written with hopes for her future and her heart.
Traditional Chinese lanterns on Wangfujing Street.
My gem, weeks before surgery, deep purple lips but hope-filled eyes.
Spicy green beans, potatoes, and Kung Pao chicken — a traditional Chinese supper
Little blue toes, the undeniable sign of a broken little heart
Books at Panjiayuan Market
Our champion baby Zeke, 5 days after heart surgery. His name means “May God Strengthen”, and He surely has.
Raindrops on roses — blooming outside our home — reminding us that life is always beautiful
Market Beads — hand strung and piled for sale
Ruby-gem, out of ICU, her pink lips and brave scar peeking through, both telling of her hope-story.
The Emperor’s Forbidden City — Beijing, China
Colors and Patterns — Hong Qiao Pearl Market
Zeke — finally out of intensive care. Our little miracle boy.
Panjiayuan Market has hundreds of booths, selling antiques and artifacts that date back to the Chinese dynasties of old.
Our little gem’s fingers, captured hours before surgery
Any teapot, any shape, any color. Panjiayuan Market, Beijing.
An alley in the Beijing Hutongs
My gem of a girl, pink-lipped and rosy-cheeked after heart surgery.
A Beijing must — The Great Wall of China

It was a decision made in the space of one heartbeat – on a plane two weeks later.

Fall became winter, and heart-wrenching sadness accompanied the outdoor chill.

One of our little ones, unexpectedly gone too soon. Her heart couldn’t hold on, and I wasn’t sure how mine now could.

Along came spring, bringing with her three new bundles of pure brave heart.

Risky heart surgeries and terrifying decisions; hurdle after hurdle crowding our path. I found myself yearning for summer; longing for the joy and rest I knew it would bring – until – it didn’t. At least – not in the way I expected.

Instead of calm beaches, summer entered with the chaos of a heart surgery for a child not expected to survive.

I obsessed over oxygen saturations and analyzed heart rates — not quite the blissful magic of watching waves meet shore.

I never made it to the Rockies, but I climbed a mountain of faith instead – one with the most incredible of summit views.

That first glimpse of her brilliantly pink lips and toes took my breath away, now worn by a child I had only known as dusky, heart-shaking blue.

I saw His faithfulness stand true – through harrowing nights and joy-filled mornings – all for one little Gem, loved beyond measure.

I found that summer’s gift is not always what we expect – but it’s everything we need.

In the midst of worried hearts and hopes and fears, Jesus meets us where we are.

He is by our side as we brave-step into unknowns — and He will not let us down.

In every season, we can trust that He is good, because we know He always is.

But in summer, this summer, in the midst of her unexpected storms and beautiful miracles, I could feel His goodness surely. He goes before and behind and He is always faithful.

A summer filled with hopes and dreams, of miracles and fears –

and the unwrapped gift of a Savior who is always, always near.

 

Meredith Toering is Oklahoma-born, with a Sweet Home Alabama heart — recently transplanted to the Far East. She is learning to live, laugh, and love in China, the land she now calls home. Her heart beats for heart babies, and she keeps busy running a Morning Star, a foster home for orphans with complex congenital heart defects and advocating for family preservation. This young woman is it — and pouring it all out for Him. She can usually be found with a cup of coffee in hand, a stethoscope around her neck, and a babe on her hip — always ready for the next adventure that is sure to be headed her way. She is, hands down, absolutely one of my favourite people on Instagram.