Yesterday, for the first time in years, I brought home a jar of pineapple jelly. I’d forgotten how...

Yesterday, for the first time in years, I brought home a jar of pineapple jelly. I’d forgotten how much I used to like it. It was a lot like running into an old girlfriend. You talk. You laugh. You find yourself wondering why in the world you ever broke up with her. It’s not until hours later, when it’s much too late, that you remember–oh, right. She’s made almost entirely of corn syrup and ground up cow hooves.