Changes

It's been a week since Buddy passed and aside from the obvious – the pain we're all experiencing – we've been looking for changes in Bailey. Honestly we expected problems. She always cried when he left the house without her and carried on until he returned. She'd sniff him up and down like crazy when he got back, as if trying to figure out where he'd been and what she missed out on. We thought she'd be sad and looking for him, sniffing where his crate used to be etc. Remember Bailey has been a nervous dog for as long as we've had her. Granted she's gotten better lately and we've weaned her off medication, but she still has never been much of a toucher or a cuddler. We always assumed Bailey was the dominant alpha in the house because she'd take Buddy's toys and his food and he'd let her. The only time we'd see something different was if Bailey was sitting next to me on the bed and Buddy decided to get up and come over to me. Then Bailey would immediately get up and walk away. No questions asked, no fighting, no nudging. Hmm.

But now, instead of a sad, mopey Bailey, we seem to have a more relaxed Bailey. She still wants her space but she's much more willing to be cuddled, pet and brushed. If I get up from a sitting position, she doesn't always jump and run with me – just sometimes. No more panicked panting breaths. Very odd.

I don't want to keep dwelling on what I can't change, but I'd like to thank everyone who posted or emailed or commented to send condolences over me losing Buddy. Your thoughts mean so much to me and I'm so lucky to have so many people who cared enough to let me know.

It still isn't easy and there's a hole in my heart. To add insult to injury, my oldest is leaving for college tomorrow (well we're driving up today so I won't be able to reply) so during the day it'll be just me and Bailey.

Like I said in the title … changes.