Time Flies When You're Having Cocktails

Last weekend was my college theatre reunion at Morehead State University. I promised to tell you beautiful readers all about it. It has taken me 48 hours to process all the crazy that occurred, but here it is in a nutshell.

I had the best cheese fries I have ever eaten. The key to their perfection? Instead of being on the side, the ranch dressing was nestled in the middle of perfectly crispy fries topped with cheese and bacon, so it oozed out with every bite. I would eat these every day forever...
which could be why…

One of my old professors, who is a master at passive-aggressive insults called me fat in the following way. Upon looking me up and down, up and down, she said, “I would never have known this was you. Really, you’re barely recognizable, except for your eyes.” Proving that once a snide, judgmental biddy, always a snide, judgmental biddy.

Over the course of two days, I took five baths and realized how very much I miss having a tub. I see a renovation in our future.

After preparing all week to perform "Prayer of an Aging Party Girl" at the Saturday night showcase, a series of mishaps caused me to miss the whole damn thing. To compensate, I am going to make a YouTube video of the piece. Coming soon to a screen near you.

I got to spend time with some spectacular old friends and made a brand new one who has fabulous fashion sense, a wicked sense of humor, and loves her cats even more than I do.

In daily life, I found I use the word “fuck” far more than the average person.

As a birthday gift, I received a gorgeous new hummingbird feeder (my new obsession)…yes, my birthday was two months ago. Better belated than never.

We had hotel sex, which is for some reason is always better than home sex.

"I am the most responsible house guest you'll ever have" is code for "The minute you leave I'm going to start channeling Keith Richards...1984 Keith Richards." No one is to blame. Somehow the lake just does this to people. 

I caused my bestie to laugh so hard he cried…like doubled over, tears flowing, body heaving laugh-crying, which is my favorite thing in the world to watch. 

Upon arriving home, I lost an earring out of the pricey turquoise pair that Frank bought me for Valentine’s Day, and then I cried. It fell in the lake. Now, the Herrington Mermaid has added it to her collection of our sunken belongings, which includes three cell phones, two fishing poles, more sunglasses than I can count, and a statue of Buddha. 

Bohemian Bay saw its first skinny dipper…and it wasn’t me...or Frank. You get three guesses on who it was.  

On this trip, I discovered that Frank is part raccoon. Throughout the weekend, I awoke to find random wrappers and food stuffs (Donut sticks, Grippo’s chips, Arizona sweet tea, Zingers, Funyons) scattered throughout our room. Apparently, when I went to sleep, Frank had gone out foraging. None of these items were available in the hotel vending machines, so he must have been stealing them from people’s rooms or scavenging from the trash.

I also discovered that when it comes to husbands, he is about as good as they come.

All in all, I’ll give the weekend a 7.5. And, the cheese fries and sex an 11.