The anatomy of charisma

I am looking at the activities of the British Politicians at the moment. Suddenly they have remembered us. David Cameron declares that he “loves babies” and sets about kissing every baby in sight. Funny that because I do not remember his fondness for babies over the last eight years. I haven’t seen a photo opportunity with him with his own children, let alone other peoples. What is it about politicians taking photos in their kitchens? There they are standing in their ‘own’ kitchens drinking coffee and asking us to believe that they are normal. Note to politician nobody stands around drinking coffee in their kitchen. We, the people drink coffee at our desks or on the go! And nobody wears their shirt buttoned up to the neck in their own kitchen!

I turn my attention to the other side of the water and I notice that Obama was in Jamaica. I may be bias. OK I am bias, but Jamaica is one of the coolest nations on the planet. Obama doesn’t need babies to kiss and he isn’t posing in someone’s kitchen. He doesn’t pretend to get down with the people although I think he could if he wanted to. He gets up and does his thing and has everyone eating out of his hands. What is this thing that Obama has oozing out of every vein? It is the thing that British Politician tries on for size every 4 years only to find that it doesn’t fit.

The answer is charisma!

Charisma is that certain something that everyone has but some people capitalise on. It seems to me that if you utilise your charisma, it makes the journey in life smoother. You can influence more. You can lead more. People listen more and they laugh at all your jokes.

The dictionary says that charisma is a special power that some people have naturally that makes then able to influence and attract attention and admiration. But what is this special power and can we learn it?

Charisma isn’t something that some lucky few are born with and others not. Many years ago we believed that great leaders were born. It is called the Trait Theory. Now we know that leaders are born and also made. The same is true for charisma. Some have a propensity for it and they demonstrate charismatic traits easily. The rest of us we can take what we have and cultivate it. We can look at people who demonstrate charisma naturally and learn from them.

I looked at a few people in the public eye who for me demonstrates charisma and I noticed 7 main ingredients.

Number One – Self Belief

This trait is at the heart of all people with charisma. The belief in themselves and what they want to achieve is unwavering and beyond doubt. It is sacred. They do the work on themselves. That is to say they know themselves. Strengths and weakness. They treat themselves as a work in progress and they are always learning, upgrading and growing. They respect themselves and the opinions they hold and they do not shy away from their opinions if they are tested. They are courageous and always true to themselves. They stand fast and are true to themselves always!

Not all charismatic people have had a brilliant start in life. But they turn the hard times into something that they can learn from and inspire others with. They demonstrate authenticity and realness and in doing so encourage others to be authentic too.

Many people have self belief but what gives people with charisma the edge, is that they have a sense of purpose. They have a date with destiny and they are going to get there no matter what it takes.

Anthony Robbins put it like this:

“There are two amazing days in your life. One; the day you were born and two; the day you figure out what it is you are born for”

Number Two – Obsessed About People

I notice that charismatic people are crazy about people. It is well documented that Bill Clinton makes people feel important when he is talking to them. Is that a gift? No it is taking the time to make someone feel special and showing them that their thoughts and opinions matter. Charismatic people know that you cannot influence a person from the outside in, the only way to influence another person is form the inside out. To influence another you have to understand what makes that person tick. What inspires them? What are their passions? Obama knows that Jamaicans are fiercely patriotic. So when he went to Jamaica the first thing he said was:

“Wha gwarn Jamaica …eh!”

In a sort of Jamaican accent and from that everyone was eating out of his hands. Only Jamaicans know that ‘eh’ is not a question it is a command. By saying “eh!” he had touched their identity their values and beliefs. This is never an accident, this is research. Every interaction with another person is personal, with the right amount of attention to detail. When you tap into people’s identity and beliefs, you validate them right there. You are saying to them I get you, I understand you and I want the same things that you do. They listen to you and open up to you. You get more out of them and they actually enjoy giving more because what they are doing is an expression of who they are.

Number three- Good Listeners

Listening is a skill we all know this. The charismatic person listens differently. They listen to the words of course….and; they listen to the choice of words. How many times a particular word or phrase is used. They listen to the delivery…. is an impassioned speech or an opportunistic one. They listening to the words that the speaker uses and reflects those same words back to the speaker to show understanding, empathy and create rapport. They use listening as a tool and as an art form.

Number four – Communication

Needless to say, that the charismatic person has excellent communication skills. This comes from knowing why. They ask this question of themselves every day “Why am I doing this?” “Why do people want to hear this?” “Why is this important to me?” This keeps them focused and on point. Their delivery is open and honest communication. The message is them and they are the message. There is no disconnect. You may not agree with the message but you have to admire the messenger. Another feature of the charismatic person is their ability to tell stories. They weave stories into their deliveries because they understand their importance. People are not easily swayed by statistics. People are swayed by their emotions. People don’t necessarily remember what was said but they always remember how they felt about what was said. Charismatic people use story telling as their tool.

Number five – Twinkly Eyes

I don’t know what else to call this component other than charismatic people have twinkly eyes. This what twinkly eyes means.

They love life

They always have a ready smile

They see the funny side of things

They do not take themselves too seriously

They are kind

They have warmth about them.

They exude happiness

They are down to earth

Number six – Talent Scout

Charismatic people are never intimidated by other people’s talents. They love to see people doing their thing. They are great mentors and coaches. They never miss an opportunity to encourage others to be amazing. Obama was told that the singer Al Green was in his audience. Without missing a beat he started singing one of his songs. With a few lines of a song he showed his appreciation for talent no matter where it comes from. He also endeared himself to everyone.

Number seven – Body Language

When the charismatic person walks into a room people look up. What is it about them? Is it that they are taller, more attractive or more intelligent than others? The answer is maybe to all of the above. The charismatic person is at ease with their body. They use body language to communicate that ease. 55% of face to face communication is determined by body language. This can be good or it can be bad. For the charismatic person it is always good. Their body language is open and inclusive. 38% of communication is determined by voice. Pause, pitch and tone. Every word counts. The remaining 7% of communication is the content. Most people when they have to give a speech focus on what they need to say. The charismatic person focuses on how they are going to say it.

We are all charismatic in some form or fashion because we all have a personality. What the charismatic person is brilliant at doing is accentuating the positive sides of their personality to the max.

Work on the seven ingredients highlighted above …who knows what doors might open for you!