4 Toys My Cat Can’t Be Trusted With

Meet Ollie. Adorable Siberian kitten, made of fur and springs and purrs.

Also known as the Ravenous Fluffbeast, he is absolute MURDER on toys.

The following “cat toys” have been downgraded to “potentially dangerous weapons” in our household.

Please note there’ll be a list of acceptable kitty toys at the end. Because nobody likes all negativity. No fun at all.

1) Furry Sleeve Toys With a Tail.

This covers an entire ecosystem of toys, from wand toys to little furry “rats”.

Don’t get me wrong. He LOVES these toys. They are among his favorites, but we can’t leave him alone with them. They swift

ly transition from “soft and fluffy” to “revolting regurgitated hairball”.

2) Fabric

Ollie LOVED this thing.

He also ate about two feet of it and then pooped it out the next day.

3) Shiny Plastic-y Ribbon Wand Toy

I can’t find a picture of this, but the pet store assured me it was proof against even the most destructive cats.

The shiny poop we got the next morning disabused us of the notion that Ollie’s ferocity was anything close to normal.

4) Fun Paper-y Mouse Wand Toy

Another HUGE hit with Ollie, but if you leave him alone in a room with this thing, he’ll have the mouse completely eaten within fifteen minutes.

Granted, the material of the mouse is plenty safe, but it’s not a CHEAP toy, and Ollie treats it like a personal vendetta.

Owner (and Cat) Approved Toys

MadRatz

MadRatz are a handmade nip-stuffed toy the perfect size for biting AND hind-leg disemboweling action that stands up to the toughest abuse. The braided tail lets it double as a draggable toy, enhancing the play with stalk-and-tackle action.

These toys are available from MadCat pet supplies in Madison, WI and come in a variety of geeky and non-geeky cloth print designs.

 

Bottle Caps

No joke. Ollie’s favorite toy. To the point where last week, I was enjoying an apple cider and Ollie sidled up to me as if he wanted a cuddle, then nabbed this thing off the coffee table and took off like a maniac.

To big to eat, they clatter nicely as they hit things, and the skitter across an uncarpeted floor brilliantly.

Glitter Pom Puff Balls

These are lightweight, easy to bite and carry around, and they skitter across even a carpeted floor with a delightfully erratic path. Ollie has several of these, and there are always two new ones next to his food bowl when we come home from work, indicating that he’s been hard at work playing with them while we’ve been gone.

Smarty Cat Crackle Chute

Best. Toy. Ever.

So inexpensive, but this makes all other toys a billion times better. There are few things in this world more fun than zooming through this to reach a toy on the other side, regardless of what toy that might be.