when you’re trying to live through change … & finding joy is hard

so the next glorious installment of our Unwrapping Series (have you checked these out?)  and today, one of my favourite people in the world, who has welcomed both our daughters around her table and I’ve sat around tables with her and her brilliant girls and shared hearts late into the night, the photographer, Mary Anne Morgan, who knows the art of of seeing the present moment as a gift.  When we see calendars not so much as rows of boxes of things we have to do — but as boxes that we get to unwrap —  the present moment always because a gift.

guest post and photos by Mary Anne Morgan

W hen we moved to our little farm 15 years ago, I was a busy homeschool mom with three children under my wings.

My life was wonderfully hectic. Katie was twelve, Annie was ten, and Johnny was seven. I was happy as the nucleus of our home, with life swirling round and round about me.

Then, one by one, my birdies did what I had been teaching them to do all along.

They flew away.  

I felt lost, and not just a little. I could not find my bearings.

I was trying to find my place in this world again.

In 2012, I read Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts —  and my perspective began to change.

The idea that I could continually unwrap gifts (that otherwise felt fleeting) just by writing them down and giving thanks for them was transformational for me.

So I began.

Katydids syncopating softly, rocking us to sleep.
Puffy cloud skies over the green pastures.
Bright red pajamas.
Reflections of the porch lights in my morning coffee.
Soft horse noses that smell like sweet hay.

And so it went.

I could feel my heart shifting from a sense of emptiness into a deep gratitude. The places I felt were barren were actually brimming with life.

It didn’t come overnight, but it did come with practice and the more I practiced the more I benefited.

Joy soon followed and, along with her, a return to my child-like heart.

I was not just a lonely woman who no longer felt she had a purpose. I was a child of the Living God who poured out His love to me daily in a thousand little ways.

It is now 2015 and my nest is still empty. My birdies do fly home occasionally to visit and then head back to their new respective flocks.

I sometimes find myself held captive by grief and anxiety as I navigate the waters of these awkward transitions. Counting graces always helps me to find my way home into worship. Once I can get onto the path of worship, my feet will carry me into the arms of God. 

Thank you, Father.

And so I continue to count.

I am grateful for:

glistening water from the garden hose,

summer lights hanging dreamily from a tree,

blue porches and red swings, ripe tomatoes on the sill, children snuggling chickens,

a butterfly warming her wings among Black-Eyed Susans,

fuzzy bumble bees satiated and sleepy,

summer puddles where heaven meets earth.

And on and on it goes.

I am rich indeed.

I may not always know my place in this world. Things are ever changing.

But in counting gifts I can always find my place in God.  

In His heart.

He alone holds me as He continues to enfold me in His love.

 

Mary Anne Morgan is a writer and photographer and wife to a worship pastor in the Atlanta area. She is passionate about capturing the glory of God that is found in people and the earth.

I just simply love this woman and her tender heart. You can find her most days playing with her horses and dogs or chatting with her chickens. Her little corner of the blog world is one of my wells of life-giving inspiration: maryannemorganblog.com and on Instagram.