The Constant Complainer

Loving Husband and I have been married for almost 17 amazing years and I still can’t believe that I’m old enough to say that. During the course of our love story I have accumulated a long list of things he does that annoy the hell out of me.  I also have an even longer list of the things he does that make me incredibly happy, but the former is way more interesting.

It really annoys me when Loving Husband complains that I complain all the time. So I wrote a poem about it. Like to read it? Here it goes…

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The Complain Game

by Rashawnda Ungerer

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Disappointment is nothing new to me

One could say that I’m getting used to it

Like when I ask him to do his husbandly duties

And the answer is “I’m about to do it.”

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But then “I’m about to do it” doesn’t get done

And he wonders why when it’s time to get some

there is none to get

Because “I’m about to do it” still isn’t finished yet.

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So now I’m torn between doubt and trust—

The “I” in independence and the “u” in us

And after the second friendly reminder

the third brings words that should probably be kinder

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For my patience is nearly drained

And now “All you do is complain”

Is in my ear

In my head

In my bed

And he.

Is.

Not.

He’s in the dog house reaping his crop

Because now his reply is, “My bad. I forgot.”

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So finally I just do it myself

And you’re probably thinking,

You should’ve done that before.

But if I do it all myself

Then what do I need him for?

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Because independence is nothing new to me.

My mother taught it well.

I don’t need a man to do a thing for me

I can do good and bad all by myself.

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But when you join two lives

There are expectations and there are roles

Promises to keep,

Communication and common goals

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When expectations are not met

I have every right to use my voice

If that’s something he’s not comfortable with

Then he’s going to have to make another choice

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Now I can just see him getting all defensive

Don’t worry. I’m here and I’m remaining

 But a husband should think about the alternative

The next time he complains about his wife’s complaining.

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I think author and comedian Rita Rudner said it best in her stand-up act, Best of the Improv: “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

Seventeen years down. An eternity to go. Wish me luck!

Rashawnda