First Two Chapters Of Pushed
Book Two in the “Make Me” s...
First Two Chapters Of Pushed
Book Two in the “Make Me” series
Chapter One
The Sanctuary
The darkness.
He’d survive it. He’d survived everything else.
“Four measured strides. Turn. Six and a half strides. Turn. Four. Turn and arm out to keep the distance between you and the wall,” he spoke softly to himself as he made his rounds.
He’d learned that the first night after being locked in this box, that an arm’s length was all he needed when he was exercising, so he didn’t bump the sink, toilet, or cot that lined the back wall. He’d also learned that if he didn’t keep himself occupied, he’d lose his mind. Every day he dealt with the stress of believing he was permanently blind as there was no light to tell him any differently. He lived in complete and utter blackness until they delivered his one meal to him. Then, for the briefest second, a small flash of illumination would make its way into his quarters and he’d breathe a sigh of relief, knowing his eyes still worked, only to have the previous worries arrive a few hours later. The silence was the same. Probably why he’d started talking to himself out loud more frequently these days.
“Come on, guy. Fuck the shit that’s messing with your head. Think about the one thing that’s been messing with your heart…Catherine.”
Six and a half strides. Turn.
How many times had he gone over their first meeting when he thought she was her sister? A hundred? He should have known something was up the second he’d felt the hard pull of attraction between them that day at her door. He’d barely given her identical twin a second thought, but Cat…yeah, she was different.
Four strides. Turn.
She wore her anger on her sleeve and hid her contempt for the general male population behind whip-crack sarcasm.
“Damn. It was a helluva first meeting.” He chuckled out loud.
Six and a half. Turn.
She’d made a number of mistakes that day. The first was being so cavalier about showing him her ass. He’d made it known he was looking for the chick with the dove tattoo who stole his stuff after the bikini contest he’d hosted, but he never intended to make that woman show him the ink. One of the other redheads who’d been in the contest had ratted her out, so he’d been expecting a fit of dramatics from the thief when he’d showed up at her place before she returned his stuff. No wonder he was left speechless after Cat let him into her home and yanked down her pants. And surprise, surprise. No tattoo on her pretty little ass. He’d left her place pronto and was nearly a mile away when the gut feeling he always listened to made him go back.
Arm’s length. Turn.
That move proved to be the best mistake of his life. He grinned, recalling the stricken look on her face after he’d talked his way back in. He’d almost seen her sweating after he’d come out of her bedroom with the bottle of pills he’d found on the bed. He’d been just in time to grab her cell before she could delete the last text she’d received. A very damning one that confirmed his previous suspicions. She’d drugged him after the contest just before she’d stolen his shit.
What followed was the most bizarre conversation he’d ever had with a woman.
Four strides and turn.
He was still grinning as he played the dialogue over in his mind for the umpteenth time when he’d accused her.
“You slipped me a mickey?”
“No.”
“Am I reading this wrong then?” He’d turned the phone screen so she could see it and he remembered how nervy she was when she’d squinted, moving her lips as she silently read. When she was done she’d leveled the smarmiest look his way.
“Meh. I have no idea where that came from. For all I know you’re trying to entrap me so I’ll admit to stealing your money.”
“Who said anything about money?”
Her face had flushed ever so slightly, but she’d continued brazening her way through it. “What the fuck else would someone steal from you? Certainly not your charm.”
Four measured steps. Turn.
And when he pivoted another image flashed in his mind. A dark one that haunted him, but then that’s why he was here. The monks, if that’s what they really were, knew a thing or two about mind control and indoctrination.
Isolate the subject and let his mind feast on itself.
The picture of his younger brother in terrible shape after being held for ransom for the very stuff that had been stolen from him…God, the gut-wrenching image wouldn’t fade. Instead it got clearer and more intense until he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Come on, pretty girl,” he whispered, and sank to his knees, squeezing his lids closed harder than he needed to because he had to feel. Something. Anything. “Take the images away. Flick them off as easily as you brush the pretend lint from your shoulder when I’m irritating you.” He brought his hands to his head, grasping his skull, pulling his hair, and rocked back and forth. “Fight with me. I need your strength. Find me in this hell. I need you.”
It took a few moments, but thoughts of her finally dominated all others. Her conjured image appeared in the mist of his consciousness and pushed all the others away.
Thank Christ…and he latched onto it.
He forgot about everything that happened between them before he’d brought her to his house that day, and focused in on what went on there. Her stealing his security guards’ cell phones. Her breaking out of every room he’d locked her in—their one evening together when he’d finally found her for the third time.
“Really,” she’d said to someone on one of the phones she’d stolen. The second he’d walked into his office he’d heard her. She was hiding under his desk. “If you looked up his name in the street cred handbook, you’d find the description vanilla pudding pop. Don’t sweat it.”
At that point he’d had enough of her running circles around him, his guys, and the house. To him, she was like the Energizer Bunny, but with a mouth a mile wide. He’d dove across the desk, curled over the edge, reached under it, and snatched the phone from her hand. “I’ll take that.”
“Yeah, why not?” she’d said so casually that he’d remained hanging upside down staring at her, as she continued, “You’ve taken my freedom, but you won’t take away my dignity.”
“Ah, so you like movies, do you? Mel as the scrappy Scottish dude? He did a decent job. Dignity?” He’d pushed off the desk and waited for her to come out.
“As far as movies go, I like the ones where the hero gets killed by gruesome means in the end.” When she stood and stepped away from the desk, he knew she was envisioning him getting his entrails scooped out.
“And I like the ones where the heroines are good girls and do what they’re told to do.”
“You see?” She glanced at her shoulder, flicking some imaginary dirt away, and then looked right at him. “This is why you and I don’t get along. You’re a meathead.”
Even now recalling that unexpected term, feeling as desolate as he was, he laughed. She was such a little wombat unless…
Suddenly the best recall he had of their short time together played like a movie scene in his head and he let it unfold as it always did. Back then he’d been impatient and easily pushed. Hell, he’d even been scared off by the feelings she’d invoked in him. One upside to his current predicament? He’d never be scared off again.
“Get your fucking bear claws off me!”
He’d completely ignored her as he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. He’d taken the stairs two at a time and never even paused when he got to his bedroom doors. He’d kicked them open and left them that way.
At the time he’d had no real plan, other than to scare the hell out of her so she’d start talking and tell him where his stuff was so he could get his brother back, but she ruined even that basic idea with the way she’d reacted to his bullying.
He hadn’t been gentle putting her on the bed and even less when he’d followed her down on it. Their bodies had crashed together and he hadn’t been the least bit kind when he’d let his full weight crush her into his mattress.
“Get off me.”
“No.” He’d taken his time getting hold of her wrists in one of his hands, squeezing them when he had a good grip and pressing them above her head into the pillows. “I think you need to be fucked long and hard. That’s what I think.”
He’d also thought she’d cave and start begging him to let her go, but that never happened.
“I don’t give a shit what you think. I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last healthy sperm donor on a planet that was teetering on extinction. I wouldn’t let you near me. I wouldn’t let my eggs anywhere near your nuclear waste dump, three-eyed, two-tailed tadpoles, I can tell you that.”
He’d leaned down to say something to her, but she’d clearly thought he’d made the move to kiss her because she’d gone off in a rant of a different direction.
“And don’t put that mouth anywhere near me. I’ll bite off your fucking tongue. Don’t breathe on me either. Just stop breathing altogether and I’ll be good with it.”
She’d wriggled and tried to twist one way and then the other but his hold hampered her every attempt. When she realized it, and narrowed her gaze on him, all he’d done was smile.
“You don’t have any choice at the moment. I’m calling the shots. And if you bite me I’ll bite you back twice as hard.”
Here again he’d been expecting her to capitulate or bitch louder and what did he get instead? He was treated to some softness. “You…you wouldn’t,” she’d whispered. “I don’t believe it.”
Whether it had been the look in her eyes or the tone of her voice, he hadn’t known for certain, but something had driven him to prove it to her.
He stopped rocking and let go of his hair, sitting back against the ice-cold metal bed frame. That was it. That exact moment when he seized the power between them. Even now his heart beat like a drum in his chest and lust coiled in steady waves low in his belly.
“Give me your mouth and remember what I said about biting back. Test me if you want. It will make it better for me.”
He’d been working on basic instinct. Justifying everything he’d done by telling himself she deserved to have someone call her bluff.
“I want to feel the weight of your tits in my hand. I want to see you.” That’s all he’d said before he shoved his free hand up under her T-shirt and roughly tugged her bra aside. He used his teeth to draw the fabric of her top away so he could see her breasts. They’d been so soft, pale, and feminine against the rough contrast of his tanned and scarred hand, he should have been ashamed of what he was doing, but instead he found himself gripping her tightly. Even now the adrenaline surged through him, recalling that spectacular sense of power.
He’d literally had her in the palm of his hand and whatever he chose to do next she’d have to deal with. He’d been in command, but even still she hadn’t been powerless. She had the means to ultimately stop him, so why hadn’t she?
It was the quiet between them that had gotten his attention and caused him to think she’d been paralyzed with fright. If she had, things would have been so different for him now…
Not a whimper or a “no” came out of her, and after he’d gotten an intimate hold of her, he stopped watching what he was doing and their gazes locked.
Lust.
Desire.
Want.
Need.
And a fearful worship of him, were all things he read in her eyes and confirmed in her expression.
She wanted to be forced. She wanted him to do every rough and nasty thing to her that he was trying so hard to deny. Bad things he was attempting to push into the fantasy zone, when truthfully, those things had been reality in that space and time.
That’s what scared him. A line had been crossed with her where his fantasies had somehow become acceptable in her reality. His reality.
What had happened next was something he barely understood even now. He’d experienced a level of fury that bordered on being completely insane. He was mad at her and himself. Completely at a loss over an emotion he’d never had to deal with before.
Disgust.
He’d used it. Lived it. Breathed it as he’d gone after her. For the first time he did exactly what he wanted to do with a woman. He handled her the way he wanted to. Hard and crudely. Hating himself more with each second that passed, but loving the seconds that ticked by more deeply, because for the first time in his life, he’d been free of the stress and constraints that had been the invisible shield between him and his ultimate pleasure with a woman.
Cat had welcomed the beast inside him with open arms and by doing so she’d stolen something precious from him, only to give him a gift that was far rarer in return. There was no going back for either of them.
“Pretty girls know their legs should always be spread.” He’d used his hips to wedge her thighs apart, grinding his hardness into the softest part of her. “Get those legs up. No, don’t lock them around me. I want them in the air while I fuck you.”
The taste of her, the tremble on her lips when they’d parted, and her mouth had slowly opened for him, had driven him wild. The shy, almost token resistance she put up before she’d completely let go and let him do as he pleased with her, was his new religion.
He fed on her lips, pressed down, gripped her harder and moved against her as if his cock was inside her, while they heavily breathed through the turbulence of the forceful embrace.
She’d held onto him as if he was the sturdy life raft in a brutal sea. As if he was her anchor and her ride home all at once. This was the challenge and the reward of an unexpected attraction. The compensation for unpredicted perfection. This was how he’d always wanted it to be. So raw and gritty—so compelling that everything else faded to black and there was only pure lust left.
He’d slid his hand into her pants, going right for the gold, cupping her between the legs. She was soaked and hot, ready…so ready. He’d shifted to get a better angle and that’s when she’d said the words that pulled him out of sexual oblivion and back into the world his unkind actions had no place in.
“Don’t let go. Hold me down harder.”
He’d wanted to. He wanted to do more than that to her, but he’d missed the chance. Her stricken expression when he’d let go of her and got up had assured him he’d never be given an opportunity with her ever again.
But the fear.
The fucking fear he’d read in her eyes that hadn’t been there the whole time he’d been rough with her, killed him. It took a piece of his soul because he knew he’d taken a sizable gouge out of hers. She’d opened up to him. She’d been completely vulnerable and what had he done? He’d let his uneducated male ego talk him into leaving her.
His pretty girl…
“Get up,” he whispered. “You need to walk. Don’t let the darkness break you. You’re not going to break.”
Four strides. Turn. Six and a half strides. Turn.
He thought about that ego. The one that died that night after he’d realized what he’d done and he’d wanted to replace it with a better version. He’d wanted to be a self-possessed man. A guy who would not only understand a complicated woman like Catherine, but a man who would be able to fully appreciate her once he did.
He’d agreed to be mentored by the best. He’d read books that detailed the psychology behind domination. He’d had discussions and interviewed the most respected Masters in the lifestyle, but it hadn’t been until he was locked in this hell that he truly got how gaining power or losing it altered a person’s perception of things. In the end, that’s all anyone ever had to possess, and when someone else seizes that unique perception and takes control of it, there aren’t two minds at work, but one.
That’s the part of the D/s equation he never truly grasped until he was put in the place of being stripped of power. He’d been so busy trying to master becoming the Master he’d overlooked the most fundamental lesson to be learned. There could never be a Dom without a sub. These were two halves to one whole. All that time he’d spent reading and talking, congratulating himself on how wonderful a Master he was going to be, when the truth was, he’d taken that ego he wanted to improve on and inflated it with more male-supremacy bullshit.
Arm’s length. Turn.
In this place there was no room for anything but survival.
He’d been through the emotional violence his captors had carried out. They’d made him watch unthinkable violence as if it was nothing but sport to them. They’d bombarded him with chaos. They’d screamed at him. Starved him. Forced him to eat, and now they’d abandoned him to a different chaos. The confusion of his thoughts, jumbled and tumbling in disjointed recall, in a certain darkness that had no scale of dates or time.
“Stay with me.”
“Forget you, Jude Wilde. That’s what I’m going to do.”
That sentence was the last one she’d said to him. “No, pretty girl, I’m not going to let you. I can’t.”
Six and a half strides. Turn.
Because his captors had wanted him to find religion…and he had.
It was her. Catherine Woods.
Currently he couldn’t control his present environment, but he could control his future one once he got out of this place. Every day he contemplated that eventuality.
Every day he thought about Cat and how he was ready to make her his. Every night he would collapse into sleep and fall into intimate dreams of her. In them he didn’t bend and he left very little room to negotiate. He was prepared to use the power he now understood and appreciated to its best advantage. She’d find peace and protection in his arms, but first? First, he needed to get out of here.
Had his mind been playing tricks on him?
Four strides. Turn.
Had he imagined he’d heard a woman’s whisper in his ear during his darkest hour here?
Six and a half strides. Turn.
No. The soft voice was real. She was the woman he was told was on the inside. She was Greyson Maddox’s contact. She had said she’d get him out and he had to believe it. She’d told him things. Were they true, or had he dreamed them?
“Where are you, pretty girl? I need you. Help me keep it together. Help me—” Was that a scrape? Did he hear a footstep? Was someone outside his cell?
The meager light flashed on the floor when the metal flap opened and a bowl was pushed through.
Relief. He could see. And even though he knew despair followed he was grateful. He broke with the formation he usually maintained and dropped to his knees to gather the bowl before the dim sliver of light disappeared. That’s when he heard the familiar feminine whisper.
“Don’t eat it. I’ll be back for you. Don’t touch the food and we’ll get you out of here tonight.”
He let go of the bowl and put his hands against the cold stone wall. “Gabriela? Is that you?”
But then there was nothing but silence, followed a second later by the darkness.
Chapter Two
Three weeks later
She expected to be greeted by one of the neighborhood kids selling fundraiser crap as she opened the door. That’s why she stepped back when she saw him. Truthfully, there were very few times in Catherine Woods’ life that she was unprepared for a situation, but finding Jude Wilde at her front door was one of them.
She tried not to stare. He looked so different. Very different. His hair was longer and he’d pulled it back into a ponytail. Was he more muscular or something?
“Hello, Catherine. May I come in?”
Hm. He was stronger maybe? And for that reason she said, “No.” She braced herself, ready for the fireworks but they never came.
“All right. Would you like to come out and we can sit on the swing?”
She turned. She’d forgotten about that sucker even though it was the first thing she’d noticed when she’d pulled up to the place with her realtor the day she’d bought the house. “No thanks. I’m good here. What do you want?”
“No welcome back? Are you okay, or what happened to you?”
She shook her head. “I got the edited short version from my sister.” She intended to leave it at that, but she couldn’t. It was probably his ponytail. She had a weakness for them. “I’m glad you’re okay, though.”
A ghost of a smile played over his lips. “Edited?”
“Master Neil doesn’t like to share info. He’s afraid my sister and I will take off and get into trouble again like we did the night at Kelli Sharp’s club.”
“Afraid?” He laughed and she almost melted. There was a new confidence about him. A mystery surrounded him that she was dying to solve. “He knows you two would be all over trouble, that’s why he’s kept the information to himself. I’m not Master Neil.”
“You can say that again.”
“Catherine.”
She stood up straighter and barely managed to catch the automatic reply of yes, sir before it was too late. What. The. Hell? “That’s my name.”
The longer he silently stared at her, the worse she felt. It wasn’t his fault he was a vanilla pudding pop and she was pissed off for wanting him anyways. “Look, is there a reason you’re here?”
“Yes.”
He wasn’t making her blowing him off easy. “Well?”
“I didn’t have the best time of it in Mexico…at the sanctuary.”
“You were there? You found it? I thought it was…” Cat searched for the right word. It wasn’t hidden, “secluded.”
“It took me a while, but I found it.”
“Did you stay there?”
“You might say that.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed a look up at him. “And what might you say?”
“I’d say it turned out to be a very difficult learning curve for me. Not that I’m complaining. The time I spent there did come with benefits.”
“Like?” She shouldn’t be drawing this conversation out, but she was too intrigued not to.
“The experience changed me and caused me to rethink certain things, making me into the man I am standing here on your porch.”
That comment was so deep coming from an arrogant, vanilla jerk she decided to have fun with it. Did he really think she was going to believe him? Was that why he stayed away so long? “Oh, so you’re different now, are you?”
He nodded and the tough steel in his gaze was unsettling. Too unsettling. She needed to keep things light and breezy. “This ought to be good. How have you changed?” She was waiting for the faux Dom in him to come out. She fully expected him to order her to do something. She’d heard about Master Neil mentoring him. Like that was going to work. What would he start with? Commanding her to get on her knees, apologize, or beg his forgiveness for being so rude to him? Yeah, knowing him he’d push for all three.
“It’s hard to explain. The only thing you need to know at the moment is that thoughts of you kept me sane through all the darkness.”
She uncrossed her arms and frowned. “Darkness? There are nuns there. Don’t they come with shiny halos and shit?”
“No. Certainly not where I was.”
“Did you find out who the boss was? Who was responsible for trying to sell those young women?
He shook his head. “That’s why I’m here. I need your help.”
Cat lost some of the attitude. Maybe she’d been wrong about him and he wouldn’t shut her out like her sister’s fiancée had. When it came to her wanting to help, Master Neil had other ideas. Namely she was completely kept out of the discussions and kept far away from anything that had to do with what happened months ago at Kelli Sharp’s club. “Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”
“That’s the plan.”
Hearing that husky, but commanding tone got her attention. She quickly sized him up. She needed to know for sure. “What’s changed with you? You seem…different.”
“I am. I’m a little disappointed we’re having this conversation on the porch. We can discuss how different I am later. First I want your agreement.”
Cat narrowed her eyes and made a buzz sound. “Guess again.” He ignored her and for some reason that simple act affected her. “What did you mean by that’s the plan?”
“For the future.”
“With you and me?”
He nodded. How had he gotten better looking? Irresistible. Why was adrenaline swelling into excitement inside her? He wasn’t the guy for her.
“Oh, no, no, no. There’s no future with us other than me helping any way I can to get to the bottom of what went on with those girls and who was behind taking them in the first place.”
“Catherine.”
For an instant she had the undeniable urge to drop her gaze, but then she remembered who she was talking to. “And where, pray tell, did you get that tone from?”
“There’s only one future we’re going to have together. You have one chance at it. If you agree to what I want I’ll let you help me—”
She snorted. Like she gave a shit about what he wanted. He was here, so clearly he needed her, and she was prepared to leverage that need any way she could. “Not a chance.”
“You’ll be included in every meeting I have with others regarding the sanctuary and how it ties into the girls we found at the club that night.”
The only indication that he’d been interrupted was a slight emphasis on you’ll. What was going on with him? Why wasn’t he swearing or flying off the handle and being an arrogant ass? Included? Yeah, she liked the sound of that. “Okay, go ahead. Tell me. I’m carefully listening. What are my choices?” She leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms again, praying he didn’t see how his presence was getting to her. Maybe she needed to get laid. It had been a long time now that she thought about it.
“You can be my cherished submissive and be included in every aspect of my life, or you can continue to be the lonely, pissed off, and continuously ungrateful Catherine Woods.”
She stood away from the doorjamb and deflated a little. It was hard holding up the wall hearing that truth. Why did he have to look so…so…dominant? “Why are you saying this to me?” she whispered. She was afraid if she spoke any louder he’d hear the hurt crackling through her voice. Which was stupid, really. She had no qualms about launching piercing-her-opponents salvos when the mood struck her. It seemed right now the tables were turned. He was dishing it out, so she was going to have to take it…but it hurt.
“It’s the truth.”
That explained it. “I’m not sure I understand.” He reached out and tucked a coiled curl of hair behind her ear. She hadn’t even thought to pull back. She was too enthralled, staring up at him. She didn’t think she could be any more in lust with him than she was at the moment…until he spoke.
“I’ll be the man you need me to be. I’m prepared to explore your deepest, darkest fantasies. I want to take you down, put you on your knees, so I can lift you up and praise you after you’ve pleased me. I’m prepared to fight for the right to do this. You’ve been the ghost in my bed long enough. It’s time you came out of the shadows. It’s not going to be easy. It’s not going to be gentle or nice, but we both know that’s not what does it for you. This is.” When she saw the metal collar precariously hanging over two of his fingers, a hot thrill zinged through her. “You’ve been searching for a place.” The steel glinted in the porch light as it slowly swung to and fro. The hypnotic gleam reminded her of his eyes. “And here it is. Right where I want you. Wrapped around my fingers.”
The sound of her heart pounding was like a steadily increasing drumbeat in her ears. “What happened to you?”
“Are you complaining?”
She shook her head and for the first time tonight she caught the briefest glimpse of the old Jude Wilde. The arrogant, vanilla ass she’d been attracted to all along. But that glimpse scared her because it showed her how much he’d changed. The biggest one? He wasn’t vanilla anymore. “I’m not complaining.”
“It’s settled then?”
Don’t agree. Say no. Yell no. Write it down, for fuck’s sake! “I don’t think things will ever be settled between us.”
“I can live with that. Providing my metal is locked around your neck and you give up all sexual control to me.”
“Did Master Neil teach you this?” When he remained silent she added, “Not only the power of words, but the tone to use when you deliver them.”
“Neil did and I’m grateful for the knowledge he imparted, but even he couldn’t have predicted the most important thing I’d discover while I spent time at the sanctuary.” He seemed to measure his next words before he said them. “But then, life changing experiences usually are unpredictable.”
“Oh?” She tried not to hold her breath. The intensity in his gaze, combined with the complete and utter calm that surrounded him, was making it difficult. She needed to get control of herself. She was scared. On the one hand she wanted to believe what he was saying. She wanted to trust the new-found person he was, but on the other? It was nearly inconceivable. “So you think you’re a Dom now?” She looked down at her shoulder, flicked off imaginary dust with a swipe of her hand, and then leveled a can’t-wait-to-hear-this-one look at him. “What was so important that the most well-respected, powerful, and infamous Master around couldn’t have guessed it?”
“The intensity.”
She scowled. “Of what?”
“The pleasure I experienced when it finally occurred to me that I’ll be free to do every nasty, dirty, and borderline illegal thing I’ve ever wanted to do with a woman to you.”
That stole the air from her lungs, but then he used his free hand to tilt up her chin, staring down at her, and she was suddenly lightheaded. She hadn’t felt this way since the first time she’d surrendered to a powerful man. Just like the rest of her life, she’d thought once she’d been there, and done that, she’d never get the sensation back…and yet here it was.
Breathless and excited? Oh yeah.
“This is the one thing even a great Dom like Neil couldn’t have foreseen because he’s never lived vanilla. He’s never held back all those raw thoughts in his head. All those sentences that begin with ‘Spread your legs’ and end with ‘Just the way I told you to.’ Neil’s had the chance to grow into the kind of power that I’ve spent a lifetime only dreaming about.”
His thumb caressed the side of her cheek and she was drowning, not only his words, but in his gaze that drilled into her. She wanted so badly to close her eyes. To sway sideways into his touch. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Not to her. And definitely not to them.
“The first night I met him he told me your sister hadn’t been invited into his bed because she hadn’t earned the privilege. I called him out on it. I asked him if he thought he was God’s gift to women. What I didn’t know then, but I know now, is that men are a gift to women. More importantly, so are women to men. Gifts like that should be treasured. They should be treated more carefully, mindfully, and handled with a respect that goes beyond the indifference of a forgettable encounter. Do you want to know what else I’ve learned?”
She did. She wanted to know it all. “No.”
He let go of her chin and dove his fingers into her hair, balling his hand into a fist as he gently tugged her into a position so she was forced to hold his gaze. The sting caused her eyes to water…and she loved it. “I’m done with dreaming and I don’t have the luxury of growing into my new-found power. It’s been awakened. It’s an exhilarating force, feeding a need inside me that I want to nourish and let grow. Meaning that I’m not going to apologize for the things I do to you. Why? Because you want these things. You need them. And I need them too.”
Cat let go of everything but her need to know more.
“Can…can I see the design?” Why she asked was a mystery. She wasn’t going to agree to wear his collar. Not now. Not ever. They barely knew one another. He’s the first man in a very long time to get your motor running.
He eased his hand out of her hair and let her go. “You can look.” When she reached for it, he pulled it back. “But don’t touch.”
The front of the metal was really quite beautiful. There was a simple line of blue enameled flowers with a pin dot of bright yellow and an even smaller pin dot of black in the center of that. “Pretty. What kind of flowers are they?”
His look electrified her. “Forget-me-nots.”
She broke eye contact with him and examined them more closely. “You…you picked those specifically because of what I said to you the last time we saw one another, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Did you say you needed my help to get me to agree to this?” She nodded toward the necklace and shot a look up.
“I do need your help, but I won’t let you give it unless you agree. I’ll find another way to get the truth from your father.”
“My dad?” She stepped back and frowned. “He told Neil everything he knew about the diamond.”
“No, he didn’t and I need to know why.”
Was he calling her father a liar? “My parents want answers too. After all they’ve been through, how dare you suggest that he’d hold back information? Their own daughter’s in hiding because she fears for her safety.”
“I need answers. From your father…and from you.”
“So you want to know if my dad has additional info on the diamond. Anything else?”
“Give him this.” He pulled a small taped up envelope out of his pocket with his free hand and said, “There could be information that might surprise you. Be prepared for it.”
Okay, now he was starting to scare her. She accepted the envelope and tucked it in her back pocket. “I’m guessing the answer you want from me is about the collar?”
He nodded.
This was crazy. She stared at the metal ring and tried to figure a way around him. What he was doing was no better than holding her hostage. She’d have to agree to be his sub before she could do what she’d been dying to do for months. “What if I say no, but I give the note to my dad and get you the information you want? Will I be included and be allowed to help?”
“No. Not unless you agree to be mine.”
She looked up. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening. “You don’t really want me,” she whispered. “You just want to win.”
“This is how much I want you.”
After he turned the collar around and she saw the words deeply engraved in the back, she shook her head. She was still shaking it, as she closed the door in his face and snapped the deadbolt into place. One deep breath later, she rested her forehead against the raised panels. Against the only barrier that stood between them and closed her eyes.
“I’ll be waiting, Catherine. You’ll have to come to me. I won’t bend on this.”
That was all he said. All she heard, before she turned sideways and slid down the cool wood. Already she wanted to go to him.
And she knew why.
The engraved words I’m Jude Wilde’s pretty girl had grabbed a hold of her heart and was currently squeezing it. She was never the ‘pretty girl.’ Sassy sub? Bitchy sub? Ballsy sub? Check, check and check…when all she every really wanted to be was some powerful man’s girl.
Jude’s girl.
‘Pretty’ he’d added.
Why did it have to be that?
