The Mapping of a Life
One moment at a time our lives unfold. One little moment is all that life really is, one moment and then another moment, and countless more. Of course, we don’t live as if life is a series of fleeting moments; most of us don’t even live as if it is a series of short stories. Most people think of life as one, continuous story complete with chapters and parts. And for every long story there is a schema. Even despite the many unexpected twists and turns, we think of things as moving along a satisfyingly predictable plot.
Perhaps it is comforting to have this subconscious line drawn out behind and before us, making sense of what may otherwise seem random and chaotic. And it may give us some peace of mind when things seem uncontrollable, to secretly fall back on the idea that we are being pulled along on the strings of fate. But, as is so often the case, what brings us comfort in these matters can also steal our power.
Even if you aren’t particularly inclined to embrace or even entertain the idea of fate, you likely still have a form of a storyline that allows you to make sense of the way that your life has unfolded thus far. For most people, although unconsciously, these storylines also help to make sense of where life is heading. For some, the general story is one of salvation; for others the storyline follows a simple upward slant as they face challenges, overcome them, and grow stronger and more successful. There are countless different possible designs but most of them follow a general slant, moving steadily up or down or, for some, reaching a plateau.
There is certainly nothing wrong with using mental constructs such as these to orient ourselves in a moment by moment reality. We are always better off remembering; however, what is real and what is a mental fabrication. A map is a representation of the earth that is meant to help us navigate, but when an existing road isn’t marked on the map, we must remember to look up from it. Our life schemas are like that map. While they can be a comforting little thing to keep in our pockets to orient us, they aren’t the real thing. The real thing is unpredictable and, because of this unpredictability, wildly beautiful.
We must appreciate the untamed nature of the future and the infinite potential of the present. We must appreciate it because it is in our natures to, when we are unable or unwilling to appreciate it, attempt to cage and control wildness. Let’s not replace the untamed potential of the future with a manufactured plotline. The future is exciting and seductive precisely because it is uncertain.
Let’s not look at the moment by moment as notches on a timeline but as the infinitely unfolding present that it is. Remember what was, not in terms of where you are or where you’re going. Love it for the sake of the experience alone. Look to the future, not in terms of where you will be, but in recognition of its infinitely chaotic beauty. And be aware in the present moment, not for what it proves from the past nor where it will take you. Be aware of the beauty that it holds because it is unrelated to either.
Simply put, appreciate the vulnerability of now and don’t get stuck interpreting it according to a schema that you accepted long ago. Drop the timeline and appreciate the vulnerability of the unpredictable now and you will certainly be rewarded with greater happiness, freedom, and perhaps even more possibilities will open up before you as well.
