Captain Morgan is NOT rum.

All summer long I have been drinking spirits. Avoiding beer. Too many calories.

Do you realize some of the more premium beers out sugar soft drinks, like Coke and what not? Out sugar them!

For me, it came down to efficiency. I can drink 8 ounces, or even 16 ounces of a spirit, whereas for the same effect I would’ve had to consume a gallon or more of beer. Given the numbers….

I love beer, but no thanks. I’ll pass.

I drank tequila all Summer, and now as we fade into fall, rum.

Urine is a good way to tell. I mean, all alcohol, whether it comes from beer or spirits, makes you pee. It’s a diuretic.

But when you’re getting all lit up on beer, you pee and pee again. Pee and pee again. And again.

The constant peeing is a sign your body is processing a lot of fluids: BEER.

This is ok, but you’re making it (your body) work. Nobody likes to work, even your body.

Alcohol, as a drug, is terribly inefficent. LSD, you can get fucked up on in micrograms. Pot, a few hits. You need a substantial amount of booze, in whatever case. A whole glass of it, at least. A beer or two if you’re a lightweight. Still. ALOT, chemically-speaking.

It’s the most inefficient drug known to man–and the best. It’s legal for a reason: because illegality was not tolerated by the people. Marijuana is rising to such an occasion as well. 

We will not tolerate, as a people, the continued outlawing of marijuana. I mean, seriously.

But alcohol will always be Man’s drunk. It always has been and always will be, from the time those first apemen came upon some rotting honey to now, when the guy writing this is drinking Jamaican rum.

Yah, mon!