I didn’t realize I was being trafficked

Dame Magazine“Stop, you’re hurting me,” I wailed.

“If you can’t take this, then how can you take a penis?” the doctor said, glaring at me while she shoved the massive, ice-cold, metal speculum deeper inside my vagina.

I winced. My face scrunched, eyes shut tight, I cried as the she forced it in. As it scraped along the narrow walls, I tried to pull away, but only made it worse.

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“Doctor, please! Stop!” I bawled, writhing in pain.

“Stop,” she yelled. “Stay still or I can’t do this.”

I was 16. It was my first time ever seeing a gynecologist.

I had been a healthy child, so I’d rarely ever even seen a pediatrician, except for a few extreme situations: when I was rendered unable to walk from a urinary tract infection at age 8; when I’d sprained a palm and thumb at 9; and when I’d hemorrhaged, a few months prior to this, during my first-ever period. It was brought on by miscarriage, after I’d lost my virginity on my 16th birthday. I’d thought that because this doctor was a woman she would be nice. I was wrong.

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Published on August 08, 2015 17:00
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