So I won 50 bucks at bingo tonight

and when I was standing in line to buy my card, the old Russian lady was behind me.

I don’t know if she’s really Russian or not. Maybe she’s Czech or Polish or Belarusish. I know enough about languages and accents to tell that’s she’s certainly Slavic. Me, I’m just calling her the old Russan lady because I know it will piss somebody somewhere off, and probably a Hillary Clinton supporter, to boot.

It’s like killing two stones with one bird!.

She’s a sweetheart and we always exchange pleasantries if we happen to be around each other at bingo, like tonight in line buying our cards, or over getting popcorn or Twing Bings.

“Good luck! I hope you win!” I said to her.

“You, too!” she said.

First game of the night: she won. Second game of the night: I won. No lie. It was kismet or whatever kismet is among the mighty Slavs.

During the intermission, we high-fived. Haha. It’s a bit odd high-fiving a tiny, ancient Russian woman who may be Polish, Czech, Slovakian, or Serb.

Perhaps, it suddenly occurs to me, she’s Jewish. Perhaps she got the hell out of Europe because it has proven to be time and again so enlightened and tolerant toward Jewish folks.

During the intermission, I stood outside talking to my bingo acquaintences. I don’t know any of their names, but there’s the fat guy and the bald guy and the woman who only wears sweats and the guy with the really long sideburns. We talked about my shoes. I have just purchased a pair of wingtip Oxfords and they found the fact that they weren’t tennis shoes quite perplexing.

“Are they comfortable?”
“How much did they cost?”
“What happens if you put them in the washer?”
“Do they light up when you walk?”
“Why didn’t you just buy tennis shoes?”

And so on.

“Why would I buy tennis shoes?” I said to them. “Everybody wears tennis shoes. What, do you want me to listen to Taylor Swift and constantly stare at my phone, too?”

They all looked up from their phones suspiciously, eyes going Was that an insult?

Yes. Yes, it was.

I spent $9 of the $50 on a stainless steel flask.

“For the drunk on the go!”

I bought it because I’ve never owned a flask and, really, doesn’t it seem like I should?