S.M. Pace's Blog

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IWSG – Time and Writing

Late again :-(

For all you insecure writers out there, join IWSG and share you insecurities with fellow writers.

The whole day job thing really frustrates me. I didn’t get nearly as much done this summer as I had hoped, and the start of the school year is creeping closer and closer. Teaching, and online courses on top of taking care of a household and a baby simply demand too much of my time for me to be able to write.

I went into self-publishing as an experiment. I had no notions of making even pocket change, let alone a career out of it. But something changed. Maybe because I liked it so much. Maybe because all the success stories gave me hope. I want writing to be my career. I want it so bad it hurts. I have all these ideas that I want to write about, but I can’t.

Because everyone around me is happy to support my writing as a hobby. My husband and my parents are happy to take baby off my hands for fifteen minutes every now and then, so I can get my writing bug taken care of. But I still feel guilty every time I do this.

That only makes it worse. When I write a little, I just want to write more. It never feels like enough. It feels like a joke. I can’t write, edit and publish stories with just fifteen minutes here and there. I can’t maintain a website and blog, and market my work with a now and then writing schedule.

I might have to let it sleep for now, and that hurts. I’ve thought about trying to write short stories to submit for publication. That would free things up. But it hurts to think of my website and this blog, which I’m paying for, languishing into nothingness for nine months out of the year.

Well, this is the most insecure I’ve felt about my writing in a long time. So, I’ve certainly joined the right group.