Why We Stop Pursuing

At some point, in all of our relationships, we stop making love a verb and we no longer pursue those we’re in relationship with. And I think there are two reasons why we stop pursuing – familiarity and exhaustion.

I remember when Brandi and I started dating when we were 19 years old, I would go to pick her up for a date and before I could even knock on the door, she would fling it open, so excited to see me! Now, after a lot of years of marriage and three kids, I don’t always get quite the same reaction.  Familiarity, if you’re not aware of it, can begin to take it’s toll in your relationship.

The second reason we stop pursuing our relationships is exhaustion. When Brandi and I were 19, our energy levels were high and our responsibility level was low. Over time, those things switch – our energy level declines when we get older, but our responsibility increases. So, we have to decide what is going to take the brunt of that shift. We don’t want to short change our kids, our jobs, or our health, but we think our spouse is there no matter what and we choose to not make it a priority. The reality is that it takes a lot of energy to date meaningfully, to relate creatively, and to resolve conflict. If your relationship is not a priority, and you do not continue to pursue one another, your relationships will be impacted in some way.

Can you name any other area of your life that you can neglect something and see improvement? It doesn’t work that way with your yard, your health, or your job, and it’s certainly not going to work that way with your relationships. You can’t neglect your relationships and expect that they will become what God has created it to be.