My spam says I need help

as you can clearly see in this screen shot of roughly six hours of spam from yesterday.
(Click the image to see a larger version.)
The good news is that my spam wants to help me get a new car, new windows, new electronics, and some Amazon points.

The bad news is that my spam is convinced I am suffering from all of the following:
hearing losslow testosteronefatness (true)memory lossand multiple other ailments.

At least this batch of spam did not accuse me of having any STDs, as many other recent batches have.

Spam should make you want to click on something.  The spammers who developed these messages clearly missed that point.  Nothing here was tempting--something for which I suppose I should be grateful.  I just have trouble with incompetence in any area.

I continue to want a better class of spam.