Christy Writes: On Charting a New Course

I haven’t posted in awhile, for a thousand different reasons. Mostly it’s the usual stuff. Things have been incredibly busy – The Guy and I hosted an art show for local artists at our glass studio. We buried Glenn. We spent a weekend visiting friends in beautiful upstate New York. I’ve been taking a summer yoga class. I had to clean out the cat’s ears. Then I had to drive her to her therapist so she could talk about how much she hates me right now, because oh man so much.

But what’s been occupying me most over the past few weeks is a future-altering decision I made recently, after years of contemplation. For the past 26 years, I’ve been a newspaper journalist, and although that’s still what I do on a part time, freelance basis, I’ve been feeling for awhile like my calling may be changing. And over the past month, I’ve realized it’s not changing – it’s changed. I’m just a little slow to catch on sometimes.

So as of this fall, I’ll be a full-time student at my local seminary, studying for my Master of Divinity degree, and pursuing ordination in the Presbyterian Church where I’ve been a member for the past 15 years.

This may seem like a giant leap from the world of newspaper journalism, and while it is, I know it’s the right path for me. I’ve told a few people who are closest to me about my plans, and not only have they been supportive, hardly anyone has been surprised.

That, I’ll admit, threw me a bit. I expected more along the lines of “Wow, really?” or “I sure didn’t see that coming!” But those who know me best registered no real shock. That’s when I realized that sometimes people see our gifts better than we do. I’ve always identified myself as a writer – and I will still be writing – but I know I have other gifts, other skills that I can use to reach others, to help bring God’s love to a world that’s hurting in a way it’s never been hurting before.

I’m not a particularly preachy person, one of those who talks about religion and spirituality as often and easily as I talk about the weather or my cats or the Mets. But those who know me best know I’m deeply spiritual and everything I do is rooted in my faith.

Maybe the fact that more people don’t know that about me is a bigger problem than I’d been willing to admit. As I told my pastor recently, I can sit in the pew on Sunday morning and think about different ways the church as a global body could be doing better outreach and shake my head because we’re not doing it, then go home and read the funnies and take a nap and finish the laundry and not think about it again until some horrible story crops up in the news or another religion-based argument blows up my Facebook news feed, or until I’m back in church the following Sunday and I think about it again.

I’m not doing anyone any good that way. Gandhi said “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.” Mother Theresa said “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” Jesus commands (his word, not mine) us to love one another. In other words, sitting in church on Sunday morning surrounded by like-minded people is great, but it doesn’t help the person who isn’t in church at all but lonely or hungry or given over to the suffocating dank darkness of despair. If there’s hurting in the world – and I literally don’t know anyone who doubts there is – why am I not doing more to help? I know I can’t change the whole world by myself, but as Anne Lamott says, “I just try to love and serve everyone, and bring everyone water, and lend an ear; that’s what Jesus said to do.”

So at the end of August, I start my new journey. It’s a radical change for me, but I’ve spent the last few years working on me, focusing on growth and healing and letting go and all that stuff that sounds great in Pinterest quotes but is actually pretty hard to put into practice. I’ve turned my spirit on its ear lately, and now I know why. There’s a new path that’s opened before me as I begin the second half of my life. Others may not have been surprised, but I sure was. I already have some great people who are stepping up to mentor me. It will be three years of hard work, and right now I don’t know where I’ll be when I’m finished. I may be in a pulpit somewhere. I may be working as a chaplain. Or I may be in an urban location I’ve never even thought of, working for social justice. Wherever it is, I’m ready.

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