Every once in awhile, I am made aware that I am surrounded by atypical teenagers. It’s bad enough that my own sons are geeks, but many of the teenagers I work with are as well.
Yesterday, one of my students named Jessica, came into yearbook and showed me a little vial on a necklace, which she proudly declared contained her DNA. She had been wearing it around her neck all day. Another student, one of the typical variety, stopped and said, “Why in the world would you have that?” Snarky teacher that I am, I answered, “In case she commits a crime, she’ll now have the evidence to solve it for herself.” Typical student turns to Jessica and says, “Really?”
Then last night, we went to purchase Kyler’s cap and gown. Miranda and her father were in the line behind us. When she came up to say hi, my son didn’t respond in the typical manner. No “Hiya, babe, whut’s the haps?” for Kyler. Nope. Kyler says quite naturally, “Why are you still wearing your DNA, Miranda?” And she responds with equal gravity, “Because I like it.” I felt like I was in a science fiction world where everyone carries their DNA around in a vial tied to their necks as if it were a diamond.
This is not the end of the DNA tale, however. Last night I was closing the curtains in the living room when I noticed Figaro had something dangling from his mouth. When he saw me, he dropped it and I bent down to pick up a small, clear vial on a string. Ignoring the fact that my cat carries odd objects in his mouth, I shouted up the stairs, “Kyler, Figaro has your DNA.” What mother says this? Other mothers find vials of questionable substances in their children’s rooms, but I would bet money it isn’t their son’s DNA.
Even odder still, this isn’t the first time that I’ve found strange things coming out of my mouth. When I was a teenager, the cops were always showing up at our house to answer a neighbor’s complaint about the noise from my brother’s heavy metal band. That is normal. That is typical teen behavior. Not for me. How many mothers have ever yelled the following down the hallway at night:
“Turn down that damn JAZZ, Kyler!”
NOTE: Initially written May 2010.